Confabulation Debacle

SCENE 1: The clock shows 9.Newshour gets displayed on T.V. screens. Arnab Goswami's face appears.(30 million people across the country says "oh God! not again!" and switch off their tv sets.)

ARNAB GOSWAMI: Tonight at Newshour we are going to debate the common wealth games scam and joining us are our panel of ...........uhmmmm well !!...esteemed guests, Laloo Prasad Yadav, Mulayam Singh Yadav, Congress spokesperson Manish Tiwary, Shashi Tharoor and Suresh Kalmadi, the chairman of IOCL & CWG organising commitee. Let me start with you Kalmadiji. You are being held responsible for the cwg fiasco. What is your defense? What is your say on this issue.

SURESH KALMADI:(What will i say after digesting millions of bucks? let me do what every politician does on being cornerd).
I think there is Pakistan's hands in it.

ARNAB GOSWAMI: Sir,how can you blame them?

SURESH KALMADI: If they can blame us for anything and everything happening in their country, from floods to match fixing to Zardari's common cold, why can't i?

ARNAB GOSWAMI: Let me move over to Mulayamji. What is your take on this whole issue?

MULAYAM SINGH YADAV: Angrezi nahi chalegi. Angrezi hatao desh bachaao !!!

ARNAB GOSWAMI: Sir, but the topic is CWG not english education.

MULAYAM SINGH YADAV: Angrezi nahi chalegi !!

ARNAB GOSWAMI: Sir, but...

MULAYAM SINGH YADAV: ANGREZZZZZZZI NAHIN CHHHAALLLEGIIIIIIIIII BOLL DIYE NAAAAAA... TO BOL DIYE...

somewhere amidst the noises
Manish Tiwary : Arnab i believe...(voice trailing off as nobody actually cares as to what he believes).

ARNAB GOSWAMI: Sir, let me rebut you.

LALOO PRASAD YADAV: Arre budbak. Hum kahe dete hain no slang, what is this re'BUTT',re'BUTT'? Tohaar ghar mein maa bahinn naahi hai kya??
And what CWG you are talking about. We want more salary otherwise consequences will be severe.

ARNAB GOSWAMI: (Literally crying out of frustration) For the last time the topic is CWG. now listen to me.

LALOO PRASAD YADAV: What listen to you. Till today i haven't listened to Rabri, Bihar's public, Railway workers or even Soniaji. I should have gone to ndtv's left,right & centre. Atleast Nidhi Razdan is hot.

ARNAB GOSWAMI: Tharoor sir can we have your opinion on this issue.

SHASHI THAROOR: CWG today has become an arduous task, with rivulets flowing out from the squalor of filth. The onus lies on those whose tones are still stentorian. The denouement of this saga we still await.

ARNAB GOSWAMI: ?????

LALOO PRASAD YADAV: ??????

MULAYAM SINGH YADAV: ??????

MANISH TIWARY: ???????

After exactly 90 seconds of confusion !!!

LALOO PRASAD YADAV: E sasura abhi hame italian bhasa main gali diya ka ?

MANISH TIWARY: How do i know. Go ask your soniaji.

SHASHI THAROOR: I believe the time for penitence has passed long before.Things have got obfuscated & need to be emancipated from past's emasculation.The need of the hour is to avaler from cynicism and awaken ourselves to the tantamount task of creating an elixir for saving the games from a bad omen.

(17 different people bang their heads on their tables on hearing this.
17 being the total no of people who actually dared to watch Arnab Goswami's show)

Meanwhile with an "i give a fuck to whatever is happening over here" look Lalooji starts talking.

LALOO PRASAD YADAV: E sasura Throor ko kaise bhagayein e hanse. Ministry se bhaga ke toh kaam hua nahi.

MANISH TIWARY: I have an idea. Ban Twitter. He will die from heart attack .

LALOO PRASAD YADAV: By the way, Mulayamji why are you against angrezi. It is a means of developmentWA & progressWA .

MULAYAM SINGH YADAV: Aree humka nahi naa aati hai angrezi. Angrezi chalegi to hum kyaa ghantaa chal payungaa. Beda garat hui jaayegaa sasuraa.

ARNAB GOSWAMI: Where the hell is Suresh Kalmadi?

TIMES NOW Crew Member : He ran away during the break. We tried to stop him, but then we were told that Suresh Kalmadi was actually Usain Bolt in make-up. Apparently Kalmadi had appointed him to impersonate him and answer people's questions and run away in sticky situations. That might probably be the reason why Usain Bolt is not attending Delhi CWG.

ARNAB GOSWAMI: Due to inexplicable circumstances we are wrapping up for today. Gentleman thanks for joining.

After the show a sad man is found talking to himself.
MANISH TIWARY: No one listens to me,not Soniaji not Pranabji ,Not Chidambaramji & not even that Deepak Courasia's english prototype. I am the most helpless guy in the congress afer Manmohan Singh. God save us both & if possible, the games.