I was parked in front of the mall wiping off my car. I had just come
from the car wash and was waiting for my wife to finish her lecture.
She had been invited to Stanford University to give a special lecture on "Future Energy Resource".
Coming my way from across the parking lot was a tramp .
From the looks of him, he had no car, no home, no clean clothes, and no
money. There are times when you feel generous enough to donate money and yet there are other times that you just don't want to be bothered. This was one of those "don't
want to be bothered times" for me, i was thoroughly irritated by all the sun burn.
"I hope he doesn't ask me for any money," I thought.
He didn't.
He came and sat on the curb in front of the bus stop but he didn't look
like he could have enough money to even ride the bus.
After a few minutes he spoke.
"That's a very pretty car," he said.
He was ragged but he had an air of dignity around him. His scraggly
blond beard keep more than his face warm.
I said, "thanks," and continued wiping off my car.
He sat there quietly as I worked. The expected plea for money never
came.
As the silence between us widened something inside said, "ask him if
he needs any help." I was sure that he would say "yes" but I held true
to the inner voice.
"Do you need any help?" I asked.
He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never forget.
We often look for wisdom in great men and women. We expect it from
those of higher learning and accomplishments.
I expected nothing but an
outstretched grimy hand asking for money to eat, but instead he said the three words that shook me.
"Don't we all?" he said.
I was feeling high and mighty, successful and important, above a beggar
in the street, until those three words hit me like a twelve gauge
shotgun.
"Don't we all?"
I needed help. Maybe not for bus fare or a place to sleep, but I
needed help. I reached in my wallet and gave him not only enough for bus
fare, but enough to get a warm meal and shelter for the day. Those
three little words still ring true. No matter how much you have, no matter
how much you have accomplished, you need help too. No matter how little you
have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even without money or
a place to sleep, you can give help.
Even if it's just a compliment, you can give that.
You never know when you may see someone that appears to have it all.
They are waiting on you to give them what they don't have. A different
perspective on life, a glimpse at something beautiful, a respite from
daily chaos, that only you through a torn world can see.
Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets. Maybe
he was more than that.
Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and wise, to minister to a soul too comfortable in themselves. Maybe God looked down, called an Angel, dressed him like a beggar, then said, "go minister to that man cleaning the car, that man needs help."
"Don't we all?"
Silent Words
Monday, August 1, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Cosmic Conundrums and a loner !!!
When I had my first course in physics in class eighth, the first chapter talked of symmetry. It said, nature loves symmetry. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, for every particle, there is an antiparticle, for every matter there exists an antimatter. Be it a microscopic domain or a macroscopic domain, the rule is followed, sometimes obvious, oblivious the other times. Then there was another concept, the overall aim of science. Unification.
Unify thoughts, reason, phenomenon, spirit, mind, body, anything that happens to exist no matter how small, or how infinite. These thoughts have stayed with me since all the past years. I like them, the aim is really noble. People say that science does not believe in God, or the supernatural. I beg to differ. We, don’t reject the existence of anything or anyone. We still hope that we will find life somewhere extraterrestrial, rather than waiting for them to come and colonialize us. Similarly, we just want to see God, put him to experiment, study his Godliness and find the reason or the process, how it happens. Any other religion and science (Yes, I would consider science as a religion, a practice, a way of living) seek the same goals through different methods. They preach faith in a power unseen taking for granted that It exists, we practice reason and want to see that unseen.
To all those who say that it is beyond the scope of human to reach and understand the works of God, let us just put it up in their own words. God made his beloved human race in his own image. That can mean a lot of things. Yet, two points come to me at present. First, God loves us. And second that, since he made us in his own image, and yet sent us down here on earth, is for a reason. Out of some curiosity, He put in some defect while making us, so that we become humans, more humane humans than Gods. Maybe he fiddles with his curiosity like a huge experiment, to see the outcome of every possibility that can exist. He wants us, to rise, to overcome what defects and flaws we detect in us, to reason it out, and eventually find him.
Reason is what he wants us to seek, reason is what Science seeks. He wants Us to explain everything to ourselves, to find out what happens, how it happens, why it happens, even His works, His manifestations. Don’t seek the reasons in the work of God? Why? He made us in his own image, He wants to be like Him, He knows all the reasons, then why-shouldn’t-we-try-to-find-them. Is it not equivalent to a quest to find Him?
So here I am, to do my part. To seek, reason, through science, art, culture, literature, philosophy, music and every possible realm that I can grasp and try to find symmetry, the perfect poles the ying and yang.
Unify thoughts, reason, phenomenon, spirit, mind, body, anything that happens to exist no matter how small, or how infinite. These thoughts have stayed with me since all the past years. I like them, the aim is really noble. People say that science does not believe in God, or the supernatural. I beg to differ. We, don’t reject the existence of anything or anyone. We still hope that we will find life somewhere extraterrestrial, rather than waiting for them to come and colonialize us. Similarly, we just want to see God, put him to experiment, study his Godliness and find the reason or the process, how it happens. Any other religion and science (Yes, I would consider science as a religion, a practice, a way of living) seek the same goals through different methods. They preach faith in a power unseen taking for granted that It exists, we practice reason and want to see that unseen.
To all those who say that it is beyond the scope of human to reach and understand the works of God, let us just put it up in their own words. God made his beloved human race in his own image. That can mean a lot of things. Yet, two points come to me at present. First, God loves us. And second that, since he made us in his own image, and yet sent us down here on earth, is for a reason. Out of some curiosity, He put in some defect while making us, so that we become humans, more humane humans than Gods. Maybe he fiddles with his curiosity like a huge experiment, to see the outcome of every possibility that can exist. He wants us, to rise, to overcome what defects and flaws we detect in us, to reason it out, and eventually find him.
Reason is what he wants us to seek, reason is what Science seeks. He wants Us to explain everything to ourselves, to find out what happens, how it happens, why it happens, even His works, His manifestations. Don’t seek the reasons in the work of God? Why? He made us in his own image, He wants to be like Him, He knows all the reasons, then why-shouldn’t-we-try-to-find-them. Is it not equivalent to a quest to find Him?
So here I am, to do my part. To seek, reason, through science, art, culture, literature, philosophy, music and every possible realm that I can grasp and try to find symmetry, the perfect poles the ying and yang.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Gimme Red !!!
Last night, I was sleeping when a mosquito sensing some action found its way beneath me and bit my bum. It was a very painful bite indeed. Out of rage, with one smack, I killed the mosquito.
Would M.Gandhi file a case against me for brutally murdering a mosquito ? Is there any lawyer out there who could bail me out if such a thing happens to me ? I also found out that the mosquito was a girl. She had nice curves indeed. I told this incident to a few friends of mine. Well not friends actually, i never considered them friends anyways.
This morning, the postman came and delivered a parcel to me. There was a small card on top of the parcel and it read " With love from X and Y". Well lets just call them X and Y, let them be anonymous for now. They will get hold of who exactly X and Y is though, so no harm done. I opened the parcel and when I saw the gift, I had tears in my eyes. Family like them really makes me feel so special. There was a letter attached along with the parcel. It read
Dear Handsome Sid,
We know that you had to undergo pain and struggle after murdering that
mosquito. Hence we are sending you a protective gear that you can wear on top of
your pants. Mosquitoes can never ever bite your bum again.
It was a pack of 7 red underwears. Now when ever I go out, I wear the underwear over my pants and calls myself the 7 LAYER SUPERMAN. I added the pictures of the underwear in this page. But I removed the pictures when X and Y pleaded with me to remove the pictures. They couldn't handle the limelite, especially X, Well Y is the cool one actually, X is a dumbo. She fell on my feet and cried. Hence I removed the pictures from the post. But if my readers are eager to see the underwear, do drop a mail to me. I will send a high-pixel version of the picture exclusively to your email-id.
Thank you guys. Family like you make me happy. Paris Hilton is searching for a BFF ( Best Friend Forever), so i intend to keep you a secret, and hence the anonymity.
Would M.Gandhi file a case against me for brutally murdering a mosquito ? Is there any lawyer out there who could bail me out if such a thing happens to me ? I also found out that the mosquito was a girl. She had nice curves indeed. I told this incident to a few friends of mine. Well not friends actually, i never considered them friends anyways.
This morning, the postman came and delivered a parcel to me. There was a small card on top of the parcel and it read " With love from X and Y". Well lets just call them X and Y, let them be anonymous for now. They will get hold of who exactly X and Y is though, so no harm done. I opened the parcel and when I saw the gift, I had tears in my eyes. Family like them really makes me feel so special. There was a letter attached along with the parcel. It read
Dear Handsome Sid,
We know that you had to undergo pain and struggle after murdering that
mosquito. Hence we are sending you a protective gear that you can wear on top of
your pants. Mosquitoes can never ever bite your bum again.
It was a pack of 7 red underwears. Now when ever I go out, I wear the underwear over my pants and calls myself the 7 LAYER SUPERMAN. I added the pictures of the underwear in this page. But I removed the pictures when X and Y pleaded with me to remove the pictures. They couldn't handle the limelite, especially X, Well Y is the cool one actually, X is a dumbo. She fell on my feet and cried. Hence I removed the pictures from the post. But if my readers are eager to see the underwear, do drop a mail to me. I will send a high-pixel version of the picture exclusively to your email-id.
Thank you guys. Family like you make me happy. Paris Hilton is searching for a BFF ( Best Friend Forever), so i intend to keep you a secret, and hence the anonymity.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Gandhi And Students !!!
1) Student Name : Siddharth. Occasion : Mock Press Competition.
Siddharth donned the role of Gandhiji . The Judges asked him, " Among the present day celebrities, who can you associate yourself with?"
Siddharth (Gandhi): I would associate myself with Salman Khan and Mallika Sherawat. All of us shed our clothes to reveal our belly buttons. I do it for our Desh (Nation). Salman does it for Aish (Power) and Mallika for Cash.
Trivia: Siddharth was eliminated in that round. And this is how this blog came into existance.
2) Student Name : Ravindra Jadeja. Occasion: Primary School History Examination
Teacher: Write a Note on Gandhi Jayanthi.
Ravindra Jadeja: Gandhi Was a Great Man, Jayanthi is a super Hot girl. Gandhi loved Jayanthi. One day he proposed to her. She said Yes. Then they got married. Their wedding day is celebrated all over the world as "Gandhi Jayanthi day".
Trivia : Ravindra Jadeja was sent out of the class. He picked up a cricket bat and became a cricketer
3) Student Name: Anand Jon. Occasion : Art class
Anand Jon was playing with two ten Rupee notes and suddenly the fashion designer in him, emerged out in art form.
Trivia : Anand Jon is now in prison on charges of Rape and Child molestation.
Siddharth donned the role of Gandhiji . The Judges asked him, " Among the present day celebrities, who can you associate yourself with?"
Siddharth (Gandhi): I would associate myself with Salman Khan and Mallika Sherawat. All of us shed our clothes to reveal our belly buttons. I do it for our Desh (Nation). Salman does it for Aish (Power) and Mallika for Cash.
Trivia: Siddharth was eliminated in that round. And this is how this blog came into existance.
2) Student Name : Ravindra Jadeja. Occasion: Primary School History Examination
Teacher: Write a Note on Gandhi Jayanthi.
Ravindra Jadeja: Gandhi Was a Great Man, Jayanthi is a super Hot girl. Gandhi loved Jayanthi. One day he proposed to her. She said Yes. Then they got married. Their wedding day is celebrated all over the world as "Gandhi Jayanthi day".
Trivia : Ravindra Jadeja was sent out of the class. He picked up a cricket bat and became a cricketer
3) Student Name: Anand Jon. Occasion : Art class
Anand Jon was playing with two ten Rupee notes and suddenly the fashion designer in him, emerged out in art form.
Trivia : Anand Jon is now in prison on charges of Rape and Child molestation.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Fucked Up Epiphany
What feels more torturous, the one you love doesnt love you back, or when she question your love ?
The latter one seems more intimidating to miss. Man it hurts, it hurts like hell. The one person you trust the most, you felt free the most to share with, so sweetly ask you to take an exit. That is so not fair, notice should have been issued to have change yourself beforehand. Its rightly said that your mind understand you the most in this entire world. Well it doesnt ever misunderstand you. Its the heart that longs for someone to understand the pain, the agony inside it. Its the heart that cries out loud to someone to understand its silence. Understand the emotions swirling inside it, without being told about. Fucking heart, not only end up hurting others, but also end up shattering into pieces itself. From where do i bring a tape strong enough to paste the broken pieces to make a whole new heart. Love is a strange thing, it makes people do stuffs that they doesnt like a bit. But still its worth it, its worth every bit of getting killed slowly.
And here i promised to maintain a cool attitude. Now how do i restrict my idiotic thumping machine to keep things upto itself, to console itself when it needs one so dearly. To keep standing when it needs a shoulder to keep its head on. Seems funny actually to find yourself in such a fucked up situation, when you find yourself abandoned, when you had a hand always ready to catch your tears. I guess its just me and myself and I all over again. Now do i understand how it feels to be lonely, to be all alone. I feel so lonely, so desolute. Please come back honey !!.
So i would be logging on into, to pour out my hearts woe on a routine basis i guess. After all the anguish needs to be flushed somehow, let it be in form of writing then. This is to me, signing off to be back very soon.
The latter one seems more intimidating to miss. Man it hurts, it hurts like hell. The one person you trust the most, you felt free the most to share with, so sweetly ask you to take an exit. That is so not fair, notice should have been issued to have change yourself beforehand. Its rightly said that your mind understand you the most in this entire world. Well it doesnt ever misunderstand you. Its the heart that longs for someone to understand the pain, the agony inside it. Its the heart that cries out loud to someone to understand its silence. Understand the emotions swirling inside it, without being told about. Fucking heart, not only end up hurting others, but also end up shattering into pieces itself. From where do i bring a tape strong enough to paste the broken pieces to make a whole new heart. Love is a strange thing, it makes people do stuffs that they doesnt like a bit. But still its worth it, its worth every bit of getting killed slowly.
And here i promised to maintain a cool attitude. Now how do i restrict my idiotic thumping machine to keep things upto itself, to console itself when it needs one so dearly. To keep standing when it needs a shoulder to keep its head on. Seems funny actually to find yourself in such a fucked up situation, when you find yourself abandoned, when you had a hand always ready to catch your tears. I guess its just me and myself and I all over again. Now do i understand how it feels to be lonely, to be all alone. I feel so lonely, so desolute. Please come back honey !!.
So i would be logging on into, to pour out my hearts woe on a routine basis i guess. After all the anguish needs to be flushed somehow, let it be in form of writing then. This is to me, signing off to be back very soon.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Confabulation Debacle
SCENE 1: The clock shows 9.Newshour gets displayed on T.V. screens. Arnab Goswami's face appears.(30 million people across the country says "oh God! not again!" and switch off their tv sets.)
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Tonight at Newshour we are going to debate the common wealth games scam and joining us are our panel of ...........uhmmmm well !!...esteemed guests, Laloo Prasad Yadav, Mulayam Singh Yadav, Congress spokesperson Manish Tiwary, Shashi Tharoor and Suresh Kalmadi, the chairman of IOCL & CWG organising commitee. Let me start with you Kalmadiji. You are being held responsible for the cwg fiasco. What is your defense? What is your say on this issue.
SURESH KALMADI:(What will i say after digesting millions of bucks? let me do what every politician does on being cornerd).
I think there is Pakistan's hands in it.
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Sir,how can you blame them?
SURESH KALMADI: If they can blame us for anything and everything happening in their country, from floods to match fixing to Zardari's common cold, why can't i?
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Let me move over to Mulayamji. What is your take on this whole issue?
MULAYAM SINGH YADAV: Angrezi nahi chalegi. Angrezi hatao desh bachaao !!!
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Sir, but the topic is CWG not english education.
MULAYAM SINGH YADAV: Angrezi nahi chalegi !!
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Sir, but...
MULAYAM SINGH YADAV: ANGREZZZZZZZI NAHIN CHHHAALLLEGIIIIIIIIII BOLL DIYE NAAAAAA... TO BOL DIYE...
somewhere amidst the noises
Manish Tiwary : Arnab i believe...(voice trailing off as nobody actually cares as to what he believes).
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Sir, let me rebut you.
LALOO PRASAD YADAV: Arre budbak. Hum kahe dete hain no slang, what is this re'BUTT',re'BUTT'? Tohaar ghar mein maa bahinn naahi hai kya??
And what CWG you are talking about. We want more salary otherwise consequences will be severe.
ARNAB GOSWAMI: (Literally crying out of frustration) For the last time the topic is CWG. now listen to me.
LALOO PRASAD YADAV: What listen to you. Till today i haven't listened to Rabri, Bihar's public, Railway workers or even Soniaji. I should have gone to ndtv's left,right & centre. Atleast Nidhi Razdan is hot.
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Tharoor sir can we have your opinion on this issue.
SHASHI THAROOR: CWG today has become an arduous task, with rivulets flowing out from the squalor of filth. The onus lies on those whose tones are still stentorian. The denouement of this saga we still await.
ARNAB GOSWAMI: ?????
LALOO PRASAD YADAV: ??????
MULAYAM SINGH YADAV: ??????
MANISH TIWARY: ???????
After exactly 90 seconds of confusion !!!
LALOO PRASAD YADAV: E sasura abhi hame italian bhasa main gali diya ka ?
MANISH TIWARY: How do i know. Go ask your soniaji.
SHASHI THAROOR: I believe the time for penitence has passed long before.Things have got obfuscated & need to be emancipated from past's emasculation.The need of the hour is to avaler from cynicism and awaken ourselves to the tantamount task of creating an elixir for saving the games from a bad omen.
(17 different people bang their heads on their tables on hearing this.
17 being the total no of people who actually dared to watch Arnab Goswami's show)
Meanwhile with an "i give a fuck to whatever is happening over here" look Lalooji starts talking.
LALOO PRASAD YADAV: E sasura Throor ko kaise bhagayein e hanse. Ministry se bhaga ke toh kaam hua nahi.
MANISH TIWARY: I have an idea. Ban Twitter. He will die from heart attack .
LALOO PRASAD YADAV: By the way, Mulayamji why are you against angrezi. It is a means of developmentWA & progressWA .
MULAYAM SINGH YADAV: Aree humka nahi naa aati hai angrezi. Angrezi chalegi to hum kyaa ghantaa chal payungaa. Beda garat hui jaayegaa sasuraa.
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Where the hell is Suresh Kalmadi?
TIMES NOW Crew Member : He ran away during the break. We tried to stop him, but then we were told that Suresh Kalmadi was actually Usain Bolt in make-up. Apparently Kalmadi had appointed him to impersonate him and answer people's questions and run away in sticky situations. That might probably be the reason why Usain Bolt is not attending Delhi CWG.
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Due to inexplicable circumstances we are wrapping up for today. Gentleman thanks for joining.
After the show a sad man is found talking to himself.
MANISH TIWARY: No one listens to me,not Soniaji not Pranabji ,Not Chidambaramji & not even that Deepak Courasia's english prototype. I am the most helpless guy in the congress afer Manmohan Singh. God save us both & if possible, the games.
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Tonight at Newshour we are going to debate the common wealth games scam and joining us are our panel of ...........uhmmmm well !!...esteemed guests, Laloo Prasad Yadav, Mulayam Singh Yadav, Congress spokesperson Manish Tiwary, Shashi Tharoor and Suresh Kalmadi, the chairman of IOCL & CWG organising commitee. Let me start with you Kalmadiji. You are being held responsible for the cwg fiasco. What is your defense? What is your say on this issue.
SURESH KALMADI:(What will i say after digesting millions of bucks? let me do what every politician does on being cornerd).
I think there is Pakistan's hands in it.
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Sir,how can you blame them?
SURESH KALMADI: If they can blame us for anything and everything happening in their country, from floods to match fixing to Zardari's common cold, why can't i?
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Let me move over to Mulayamji. What is your take on this whole issue?
MULAYAM SINGH YADAV: Angrezi nahi chalegi. Angrezi hatao desh bachaao !!!
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Sir, but the topic is CWG not english education.
MULAYAM SINGH YADAV: Angrezi nahi chalegi !!
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Sir, but...
MULAYAM SINGH YADAV: ANGREZZZZZZZI NAHIN CHHHAALLLEGIIIIIIIIII BOLL DIYE NAAAAAA... TO BOL DIYE...
somewhere amidst the noises
Manish Tiwary : Arnab i believe...(voice trailing off as nobody actually cares as to what he believes).
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Sir, let me rebut you.
LALOO PRASAD YADAV: Arre budbak. Hum kahe dete hain no slang, what is this re'BUTT',re'BUTT'? Tohaar ghar mein maa bahinn naahi hai kya??
And what CWG you are talking about. We want more salary otherwise consequences will be severe.
ARNAB GOSWAMI: (Literally crying out of frustration) For the last time the topic is CWG. now listen to me.
LALOO PRASAD YADAV: What listen to you. Till today i haven't listened to Rabri, Bihar's public, Railway workers or even Soniaji. I should have gone to ndtv's left,right & centre. Atleast Nidhi Razdan is hot.
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Tharoor sir can we have your opinion on this issue.
SHASHI THAROOR: CWG today has become an arduous task, with rivulets flowing out from the squalor of filth. The onus lies on those whose tones are still stentorian. The denouement of this saga we still await.
ARNAB GOSWAMI: ?????
LALOO PRASAD YADAV: ??????
MULAYAM SINGH YADAV: ??????
MANISH TIWARY: ???????
After exactly 90 seconds of confusion !!!
LALOO PRASAD YADAV: E sasura abhi hame italian bhasa main gali diya ka ?
MANISH TIWARY: How do i know. Go ask your soniaji.
SHASHI THAROOR: I believe the time for penitence has passed long before.Things have got obfuscated & need to be emancipated from past's emasculation.The need of the hour is to avaler from cynicism and awaken ourselves to the tantamount task of creating an elixir for saving the games from a bad omen.
(17 different people bang their heads on their tables on hearing this.
17 being the total no of people who actually dared to watch Arnab Goswami's show)
Meanwhile with an "i give a fuck to whatever is happening over here" look Lalooji starts talking.
LALOO PRASAD YADAV: E sasura Throor ko kaise bhagayein e hanse. Ministry se bhaga ke toh kaam hua nahi.
MANISH TIWARY: I have an idea. Ban Twitter. He will die from heart attack .
LALOO PRASAD YADAV: By the way, Mulayamji why are you against angrezi. It is a means of developmentWA & progressWA .
MULAYAM SINGH YADAV: Aree humka nahi naa aati hai angrezi. Angrezi chalegi to hum kyaa ghantaa chal payungaa. Beda garat hui jaayegaa sasuraa.
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Where the hell is Suresh Kalmadi?
TIMES NOW Crew Member : He ran away during the break. We tried to stop him, but then we were told that Suresh Kalmadi was actually Usain Bolt in make-up. Apparently Kalmadi had appointed him to impersonate him and answer people's questions and run away in sticky situations. That might probably be the reason why Usain Bolt is not attending Delhi CWG.
ARNAB GOSWAMI: Due to inexplicable circumstances we are wrapping up for today. Gentleman thanks for joining.
After the show a sad man is found talking to himself.
MANISH TIWARY: No one listens to me,not Soniaji not Pranabji ,Not Chidambaramji & not even that Deepak Courasia's english prototype. I am the most helpless guy in the congress afer Manmohan Singh. God save us both & if possible, the games.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Existence Extinguished
Have you ever experience how it feels like to be in unfathomable pain ?
How it feels when you have all the treasure and happiness in the world, but none to share with.
Physical pain is just a gateway to the miniscule superficial uneasiness of our body. Have you ever witness the ghastly unimaginable agony when the serenity of the mind is deeply disturbed. When the mind is in a state of total chaos, havoc being the chief parasite inhibiting the mind.
Physical pain seems midgetly uneasy. A piece of cake to handle, how critically unstable it feels to be in this godforsaken anguish.
There was a face, a part of my life i had never seen, nor did i ever wanted to see. But now that i came face to face with it, it tears me apart. Amazing how things work out, ironic it sounds to hear that my life turns a blind eye to my woes, to my sentiments. A broken heart, a teared down body and a bruised mind did it take me to grasp the actual meaning of avoiding someone.
Who gives a fuck when others avoid you, when others misunderstand you, but who do we go to if our life turns against us.
Astonishing it may sound, something to think about.
This is where i finish my venture, this is where i stop. And certainly this is where i cease !!!
How it feels when you have all the treasure and happiness in the world, but none to share with.
Physical pain is just a gateway to the miniscule superficial uneasiness of our body. Have you ever witness the ghastly unimaginable agony when the serenity of the mind is deeply disturbed. When the mind is in a state of total chaos, havoc being the chief parasite inhibiting the mind.
Physical pain seems midgetly uneasy. A piece of cake to handle, how critically unstable it feels to be in this godforsaken anguish.
There was a face, a part of my life i had never seen, nor did i ever wanted to see. But now that i came face to face with it, it tears me apart. Amazing how things work out, ironic it sounds to hear that my life turns a blind eye to my woes, to my sentiments. A broken heart, a teared down body and a bruised mind did it take me to grasp the actual meaning of avoiding someone.
Who gives a fuck when others avoid you, when others misunderstand you, but who do we go to if our life turns against us.
Astonishing it may sound, something to think about.
This is where i finish my venture, this is where i stop. And certainly this is where i cease !!!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Welcome to the museum- “The Kinder garten”
The honourable, greatness personified, the legendary Siddharth Panigrahi- My certificates state I was born in 1989. My parents however till date argue between each other in which year I was born. My birth was a matter of happiness to the whole of India and Australia, FYI i like Australia so it shares a joint venture with India for its happiness. Both the nations distributed sweets on the fruitful timing and date of my birth, therefore I call myself honorable.
I had a frequent habit of falling in love. My history of crushes goes long back when I had just entered school. There was a girl named "Roo" in kindergarten and her nose used to flood with a frequency of 0.6Hz, and I had a crush on her.
On one fine day she came upto me with her nose hidden behind her handkerchief and said, “Siddharth, I am leaving. Bye…”
The scene was extremely melodramatic. I did not go to school that day, and the day next to that. I decided to miss a day’s food in her honour. However, as soon as evening came by Chandrama entered my life. She was not as sweet as “Roo” however her chubbiness and cuteness gave competition to “Kavita”. Kavita was the bombshell of my Kindergarten school, and the fisrt girl of my life I shall call ‘Sexy’! The whole school fought to have lunch with her. She used to bring buttered bread in her lunch box, and the boys sitting around her used to bring chocolates for her everyday. She used to exchange her tiffin boxes with the admirers of her. As I always used to take half burnt rotis to school, I never dared to exchange my tiffin box with her, so I settled for Chandrama. She had no problems with my half burnt rotis. She never touched it though is a different matter altogether.
Time moved on, Chandrama and I came closer. We started sitting on the same seats in the school bus.
On another fine day on which Chandrama was absent on account of typhoid, Surabhi came and took the seat beside me. My heart started beating faster. I was too happy that day. She was the best friend of ‘Kavita’. My small mind played the first politics of my life. Our conversation went as such-
HH(His highness) Siddharth Panigrahi- “who all are your friends? Will you introduce me to them?”
Surabhi- “My friends are Purbita, Shruti, Shristi and Meher. I had fight with Kavita yesterday. I won’t talk to her ever. Yeah I will---”
By the time she completed the list I got up from my seat and took to my heels. I ran from the seat and went beside Kishore. The boy I believed to have come from Nigeria, taking into consideration that black colour was fairer then him, no offence wat so ever. I did not talk to Surabhi for upcoming three years.
Ultimately I was successful in dating (lunching) with Kavita. I had somehow convinced my mother to give me bread and chocolate that day. I wore washed and ironed dress, polished my shoes myself and TOOK A BATH on a rainy day. The palpitating beats of my heart were at an all time high. It was raining heavily that day, and most of the boys were absent. Chandrama was absent too. Probably her mother thought it better not to disturb her sleep. So on the fortunate day of 19th august, 1994 I dated my first sweet heart ‘Kavita’.
However, our relationship did not last long. On the next day I saw her eating with Kishore. I went up to him and broke his nose. His nose is still crooked.
With every blow I delivered I said, “How dare you eat with my girlfriend? Kutte, I will finish you off.”
It was good the Kavita chapter came to an end. After a few months she looked like-
I had a frequent habit of falling in love. My history of crushes goes long back when I had just entered school. There was a girl named "Roo" in kindergarten and her nose used to flood with a frequency of 0.6Hz, and I had a crush on her.
On one fine day she came upto me with her nose hidden behind her handkerchief and said, “Siddharth, I am leaving. Bye…”
The scene was extremely melodramatic. I did not go to school that day, and the day next to that. I decided to miss a day’s food in her honour. However, as soon as evening came by Chandrama entered my life. She was not as sweet as “Roo” however her chubbiness and cuteness gave competition to “Kavita”. Kavita was the bombshell of my Kindergarten school, and the fisrt girl of my life I shall call ‘Sexy’! The whole school fought to have lunch with her. She used to bring buttered bread in her lunch box, and the boys sitting around her used to bring chocolates for her everyday. She used to exchange her tiffin boxes with the admirers of her. As I always used to take half burnt rotis to school, I never dared to exchange my tiffin box with her, so I settled for Chandrama. She had no problems with my half burnt rotis. She never touched it though is a different matter altogether.
Time moved on, Chandrama and I came closer. We started sitting on the same seats in the school bus.
On another fine day on which Chandrama was absent on account of typhoid, Surabhi came and took the seat beside me. My heart started beating faster. I was too happy that day. She was the best friend of ‘Kavita’. My small mind played the first politics of my life. Our conversation went as such-
HH(His highness) Siddharth Panigrahi- “who all are your friends? Will you introduce me to them?”
Surabhi- “My friends are Purbita, Shruti, Shristi and Meher. I had fight with Kavita yesterday. I won’t talk to her ever. Yeah I will---”
By the time she completed the list I got up from my seat and took to my heels. I ran from the seat and went beside Kishore. The boy I believed to have come from Nigeria, taking into consideration that black colour was fairer then him, no offence wat so ever. I did not talk to Surabhi for upcoming three years.
Ultimately I was successful in dating (lunching) with Kavita. I had somehow convinced my mother to give me bread and chocolate that day. I wore washed and ironed dress, polished my shoes myself and TOOK A BATH on a rainy day. The palpitating beats of my heart were at an all time high. It was raining heavily that day, and most of the boys were absent. Chandrama was absent too. Probably her mother thought it better not to disturb her sleep. So on the fortunate day of 19th august, 1994 I dated my first sweet heart ‘Kavita’.
However, our relationship did not last long. On the next day I saw her eating with Kishore. I went up to him and broke his nose. His nose is still crooked.
With every blow I delivered I said, “How dare you eat with my girlfriend? Kutte, I will finish you off.”
It was good the Kavita chapter came to an end. After a few months she looked like-
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Solicitude Repentance !!!
Its been a long day, surprising for me, even with a sitcom left to finish off. I had to get through the fruit of boredom. Anyways feeling lonely doesnt mean you are all alone in your room, not to mention i find some peace appreciated once in a while. But finding yourself totally alone in a group of people signifies your lonliness.
Its not that i dont miss my babies as in, not to mention i miss them even when they are with me, funny to say. But nontheless now that i find myself left alone with the hauntingly cherished memories for a few days. This epiphany of astray absence seems overwhelming to consume. I find myself lying down staring the ceiling fan for hours in the end. Some how the revolving blades seems astoundingly engrossing. Chocolate wrappers and dilapidated flowers collected over a period of 3 years with morale sentiments soothes this twisted heart beyond delineation.
Gargantuan physical egony seems immensely sweetened then this fuckingly demented heart ripping emotion. Ironically speaking if emotion be given a human form, could surpass the very existance of god. Missing someone feels so meticulously courteous at times, strengthens the love you have for the person. But then there are this different times, it debauche the heart in one swift moment. Making it breath takingly impossible to live.
This raconteur describes the past few days of my puny life. Amazing how human heart works, when in pain this son of a bitch seems to amplify even a diminutive incident, making it even worse to exist. I tried a lot to control myself yesterday, knowing it hurts my babies a lot to watch this side of my face. Knowing for the fact it disorganize them to watch me acting this way. I tried a lot to call back, call back and tell them how much i love them. Dialing and disconnecting the phone a million times seemed too overpowering. I tried, i tried a lot to talk with them habitually, just so that they wouldnt go to bed upset. In the end i gave away, completely broken down, drained out completely out of my life force.
I feel awfully abysmal, terribly abhorrent of myself to have left my babies alone. Ghastly remorseful, i owe an apology big time. Am so sorry honey, am so sorry. I love you, I love you more then anyone can ever love you !!!
Its not that i dont miss my babies as in, not to mention i miss them even when they are with me, funny to say. But nontheless now that i find myself left alone with the hauntingly cherished memories for a few days. This epiphany of astray absence seems overwhelming to consume. I find myself lying down staring the ceiling fan for hours in the end. Some how the revolving blades seems astoundingly engrossing. Chocolate wrappers and dilapidated flowers collected over a period of 3 years with morale sentiments soothes this twisted heart beyond delineation.
Gargantuan physical egony seems immensely sweetened then this fuckingly demented heart ripping emotion. Ironically speaking if emotion be given a human form, could surpass the very existance of god. Missing someone feels so meticulously courteous at times, strengthens the love you have for the person. But then there are this different times, it debauche the heart in one swift moment. Making it breath takingly impossible to live.
This raconteur describes the past few days of my puny life. Amazing how human heart works, when in pain this son of a bitch seems to amplify even a diminutive incident, making it even worse to exist. I tried a lot to control myself yesterday, knowing it hurts my babies a lot to watch this side of my face. Knowing for the fact it disorganize them to watch me acting this way. I tried a lot to call back, call back and tell them how much i love them. Dialing and disconnecting the phone a million times seemed too overpowering. I tried, i tried a lot to talk with them habitually, just so that they wouldnt go to bed upset. In the end i gave away, completely broken down, drained out completely out of my life force.
I feel awfully abysmal, terribly abhorrent of myself to have left my babies alone. Ghastly remorseful, i owe an apology big time. Am so sorry honey, am so sorry. I love you, I love you more then anyone can ever love you !!!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Oration Of A Dream
After months of delay, the plethora of it was overwhelming to have delayed any further. Giving words to a dream is a tough job to do. Taking into consideration that dreams are very hard to remember, but nonetheess this particular one was a special consideration to have been ignored. Here is the deal.
There i was in a deserted village i have no recollection of ever to have been. Bui was with me, but there wasnt a soul in vicinity. I have no idea why out of all the places in the entire world. And since this being a dream and has no limit watsoever, the whole universe, anyways i have no idea why we were there. Then out of nowhere Bui recollects about us being there for a spiritual reason. Uncanny to think about it, what kind of spiritual awakening made us go there in the 1st place. Moving on, the fun part of this is that i know for sure there was a spiritual reason, but for that matter doesnt remember what it is. The fun part being that the spiritual reason was the base of the entire dream. So after having done the mysterious deed, out of no where people swoop in on us commenting on things again i doesnt have any recollection of.
Bui totally flabergasted on the comment part starts crying, ( man i was already having a hard time remembering stuff, but now even she had to cry for a silly reason), anyways its been a minute she starts cryin, out of thin air like an apparition Nini appariates in. Both of us sandwiching Bui, comforting her all along get back home.
After i drop them off, i come back home and text her not to be sad,and that people take it to be there job to criticise for every other reason, and that it was for a good reason we were there. Now here is the comic relief, having been texted her in my dreams, i have no idea how i actually texted her in my sleep the exact same message i did back there. Consider my dismayed astoundness when Bui calls me up in the morning asking me about my dream. Man, my dream was powerful, it was conveyed to her via bluetooth huh !!!.
These was a delusional speculation that couldnt have been more appealing to have been ignored. Well the avail ascendancy of having an own blog is that you can blabber around literally anything you want without been penalised for it. After all its a free world out there !!!
There i was in a deserted village i have no recollection of ever to have been. Bui was with me, but there wasnt a soul in vicinity. I have no idea why out of all the places in the entire world. And since this being a dream and has no limit watsoever, the whole universe, anyways i have no idea why we were there. Then out of nowhere Bui recollects about us being there for a spiritual reason. Uncanny to think about it, what kind of spiritual awakening made us go there in the 1st place. Moving on, the fun part of this is that i know for sure there was a spiritual reason, but for that matter doesnt remember what it is. The fun part being that the spiritual reason was the base of the entire dream. So after having done the mysterious deed, out of no where people swoop in on us commenting on things again i doesnt have any recollection of.
Bui totally flabergasted on the comment part starts crying, ( man i was already having a hard time remembering stuff, but now even she had to cry for a silly reason), anyways its been a minute she starts cryin, out of thin air like an apparition Nini appariates in. Both of us sandwiching Bui, comforting her all along get back home.
After i drop them off, i come back home and text her not to be sad,and that people take it to be there job to criticise for every other reason, and that it was for a good reason we were there. Now here is the comic relief, having been texted her in my dreams, i have no idea how i actually texted her in my sleep the exact same message i did back there. Consider my dismayed astoundness when Bui calls me up in the morning asking me about my dream. Man, my dream was powerful, it was conveyed to her via bluetooth huh !!!.
These was a delusional speculation that couldnt have been more appealing to have been ignored. Well the avail ascendancy of having an own blog is that you can blabber around literally anything you want without been penalised for it. After all its a free world out there !!!
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