Angels And Demons !!!

“God knows what the world will think” So wrote Charles Darwin as he thought about the impact of his “Origin Of Species”. In one respect it did not matter because his goal had been to convince naturalists that there was an alternative to separate creation, completely different as one depicted in The Genesis and other religious scriptures worldwide. But in other respects it mattered profoundly because, as he once put it, to admit the mutability of species was like confessing a murder. It also mattered because his own wife was a member of that public whose religious sensibilities might be deeply wounded. So a question arises ?
How should scientists respond to religious believers whose concerns may be very different from their own, even to the point of constituting a threat? Whether they ignore them, engage them, or seek to transcend them with an alternative spirituality, are there no easy answers ?

Is it not possible that in our search for some basic reality, we humans may discover that although religion and science have always seemed to be in different places, the conclusion they will ultimately reach will be the same thing

What is God?

What is Energy?

What is Spirit?

What is Universal Consciousness?

What is Singular?

What is Unilateral?



Someone has rightly said, “God is not different from the order that exists in the universe”.Aligning our thoughts along this line, we may doubt the commonly held view that Science and Religion are entirely different and exist at the opposite ends of a spectrum. But , Science is based on observation. Religion on the other hand makes arguments analytical in nature and requires some unquestioned faith. In spite of leading us through somewhat different paths, both try to find the basic stuff. The goal thus in both cases is to determine the constituents of what form the reality. The routes though may not seem similar.

Eastern religions like Hinduism and Buddhism believe that that the world is entrapped in terms of movement , flow and change and so does particle physics which describes the sub atomic world at the quantom level as a total chaos , where nothing (quarks , mesons and neutrinos) are ever at rest . Though vague , this exmple does settle in an analogy between the quests of science and religion .

The next question that comes is that what is the thing that we are after? What constitutes this reality that we all are in pursuit of? A scientist might call this as the order in the universe or the Energy, which is diffused in the world we live in. Religions like to call this ultimate reality as God. The order that the scientists describe implies a mind working behind it. This entity capable of setting an order in the universe is nothing but what religion defines as God. Science and Religion then appear to be tied up like two versions of the same notion. God, I feel, is the ultimate quest for which both these allegedly opposite views are after.

God’s physical form is not visible to us. But his existence could be argued using scientific and rational arguments based on the observation of what goes around us. For instance when we throw coins on a table, this coins apparently stop and arrange themselves on the table. What made the coins to arrange? Maybe it was by the virtue of Newton’s Laws. But then again this order as proposed by Science implies an order setter. Another example is found in the Nature and its mechanisms. This machine which we call Nature, implies an operator . In short He and His working are beyond our understanding. We might label his qualities with terms like wisdom, knowledge, mercy and power. Not only this, we do not have the faintest idea of His physical presence or form. We humans then are in no situation to understand this all-powerful entity who is full of mystery. In such a situation, we have no other choice but to accept this incomplete meaning of God and have faith in his ways, have faith in what the religion teaches. In short , the religion explains what mathematical equations and scientific theories fail to explain .

It is not difficult to understand that today is an era of science, the scientific growth is exponential . Man took more than two millennia to learn to fly and then in less than half a century he flew to outer space. Man’s intellect is growing far more than his morality. Today we measure scientific growth in weeks and gradually the religion is left behind and people find themselves in a spiritual void .

Today it seems , Science is the ultimate God. Who is the God who offers his people power but no moral framework to tell us how to use that power? What
kind of God gives a child fire but does not warn the child of its dangers?
The language of science comes with no signposts about good and bad.
Science textbooks tell us how to create a nuclear reaction, and yet they
contain no chapter asking us if it is a good or a bad idea. We clone living creatures, but it is the religion reminding us to consider the moral implications of
our actions. We encourage people to interact on cellular phones, video screens,
and computers, but it is the religion who opens its doors and reminds us to
commune in person as we were meant to do. We even murder unborn
babies in the name of research that will save lives. Again, it is the religion
who points out the fallacy of this reasoning. Science may have alleviated the miseries of disease and drudgery and provided an array of gadgetry for our entertainment and convenience, but it has left us in a world without wonder. Our sunsets and sunrises have been reduced to wavelengths and frequencies. The complexities of the universe have been shredded into mathematical equations. Universe apart, the concept of multiverse is in talk now, imagine parallel universe others then ours, "TOTAL CHAOS". Even our self-worth as human beings has been destroyed. Science proclaims that Planet Earth and its inhabitants are a meaningless speck in the grand scheme. "A COSMIC ACCIDENT" i say. The scientific community says that religion is ignorant toward the relentless march of human progress, but who is more ignorant, a person who cannot explain lightening or a person who does not respect it’s tremendous power. The power to annihilate in a zippy.

But world cannot exist without the progress of Science. Medicine, electronic communications, space travel, genetic manipulation. These are the miracles about which we now talk about. These are the miracles we herald as proof that science will bring us the answers. The ancient stories of immaculate conceptions, burning bushes, and parting seas are no longer relevant. God has become obsolete. It is because of Science that we now lead a longer life, it is because of science that now we can communicate with across seas, it is because of science that we can manipulate human genetic arrangement to produce an even better species. In near future, who knows we, the human race well might be surviving on some other planet.

So, what is flawed ? Science or Religion ? the answer is none . Religion is flawed because man is flawed, Science is flawed because man is flawed. Today the world we see, is in need of both Science and Religion. Our existence can not depend upon mathematical equations and theories postulated on basis of carefully collected data , nor can we survive without the advance on science and just on blind faith.

So, who wins the debate, who wins the war. Science or Religion ? scholars, scientists and priests throughout the period of time have debated on this topic, but the outcome, none. Today to some extent Science does reinforce Religion. According to Bible, God said “Let there be light” and the universe was created out of light. Today in laboratories we have proved the reverse, we have annihilated mass, opposing charges together to produce photons, the light particles, purest form of energies, reinforcing the Christian theory about “The Moment Of Creation”. Almost every religion teaches that it is the God who unites us all, and if someday in near future, the much famous Unified Field Theory, is approved then it will rationally and scientifically prove the existing of a universal force, a universal entity which relates and binds every other thing in this vast infinite world and beyond.

The naming for this debate to be " ANGELS AND DEMONS" goes way back 10 years ago, when Dan Brown wrote the book by the same name, the ultimate war between science and religion, that has been on, way before we realise. On a personal satisfaction, this piece of writing is by far the most intellectual and spiritual on my part.

So, what do we conclude ? Science and Religion are just two different languages saying the same statement, two different paths leading to the same final destination, two different modus operandi to achieve the final goal. And the world is in need of both.

IT

Cowering beneath the bed, terrified of making a sound, she shuddered as the bed above her begins creaking rhythmically. The carpets under the bed hadn’t been cleaned for a very long time and all the dust and dirt was taking its toll on her. Desperately trying not to sneeze or make any noise whatsoever, she tried diverting her mind to something else…her crush…depressing in these testing times…makeup and dolls, yes just the two things that made her stronger and divert her attention, but she knew it was only a matter of time that he would enter the room as she could hear the footsteps drawing nearer and louder.

It had a feeling that it heard a noise from this room, opening the door slowly so as to make no noise; it entered, surveying the room carefully. This had to be the master bedroom of this awfully huge house. Something told it that there just had to be someone in this room. Shutting the door slowly, it wondered as to where to start from…the bathroom? The cupboards? The storeroom or the balcony. It decided upon the cupboards as it was closest. Slowly and cautiously it proceeded forward trying its best not to make a noise.

Her eyes followed its feet making a move towards the cupboards. She felt like running out and getting it over with. Hang in there she thought, it’s only a matter of time before this misery ends.

It reached for the two cupboard knobs, taking a deep breath it pulled the doors open and moved back a couple of steps. To its utter dismay there was nobody inside. Its next target was the bathroom right beside the bed. Moving forward, its eyes were fixed upon the bed and almost instantly it dropped to its knees and looked under the bed. Her innocent eyes were looking back and with a smirk he whispered, “TAG, YOUR IT”.

Springing to his feet he started shouting “New Seeker, New Seeker” and slowly the other kids poured into the room, ecstatic that they weren’t caught. She slowly appeared from under the bed, only to be welcomed by her friends laughing at her. Visibly upset, she knew that their laughs would be short lived as it was her turn to instill fear on her friends, after all she was the now “The Seeker”.

Remember the days when we were young, remember the days when the littlest of things would be the biggest thrills of our lives. Let’s dig deep, let’s recall the small things that meant a lot to us. Let’s not forget the innocent, adventurous child we once were and who we all are deep inside !!!

Christmas With A Bang !!!

There has been a a criticism of Christmas celebrations are becoming highly materialistic in nature and the true meaning of Christmas is lost. There is only exchange of gift rather the warmth of compassion, sending of cards perfunctorily rather than out of love, hosting Christmas parties instead of reaching out the hands of help to the unprivileged ones. I just read few stories in GatewaytoJesus which is actually not a story but first hand accounts of some people who realized that there are angels on this earth. One of the story is about a mother of six who had been a state of misery and poverty and has to go through much difficulties to earn the livelihood. Christmas was just round the corner and the mother had almost no money to buy gifts for the children. She managed to arrange some old toys which she painted and decided to give the children as Christmas gifts. Miraculously on the night of Christmas Eve, while returning home from her work, she found her car loaded with Christmas presents, food and clothes for her family! Indeed, there are angels beside us who take care of us but we don't see them all the time.


A PRAYER OF THANKS

Heavenly Father, thank you for sending your Son to earth as a baby so many years ago. Thank you that He paid the punishment for my sins by dying on the cross. And thank you that He rose again to prove that death was truly defeated. I place my trust in You to be my Savior. Guide me through the dark times of my life and give me courage to live for You.
Amen !!!

Antarctica: - Merry Christmas, Felices Pasquas, Hristos Razdajetsja
Argentina: - Feliz Navidad!
Australia: - Happy Christmas
Austria: - Frohe Weihnachten

Bangladesh: - Shuvo Baro Din
Barbados: - Merry Christmas
Belarus: - Winshuyu sa Svyatkami
Belgium: - Zalig Kerstfeest
Brazil: - Feliz Natal
Chile: - Feliz Navidad China Sheng Tan Kuai Loh

Colombia: - Feliz Navidad para todos

Chile: - Feliz Navidad China Sheng Tan Kuai Loh
Croatia: - Sretan Bozic
Cuba: - Feliz Navidad
Cyprus: - Eftihismena Christougenna, Noeliniz kutlu olsun ve yeni yili
Czech Republic: - Vesele Vanoce

Democratic People's Republic of Korea: - Sung Tan Chuk Ha
Denmark: - Glaedelig Jul

Egypt: - Mboni Chrismen
El Salvador: - Feliz Navidad

Fiji: - Merry Christmas
Finland: - Hauskaa Joulua
France: - Joyeux Noel

Guatemala: - Feliz Navidad
Guinea: - Joyeux Noel
Guinea-bissau: - Boas Festas
Guyana: - Merry Christmas

Ireland: - Nollaig Shona dhuit
Israel: - Mo'adim Lesimkha
Italy: - Buon Natale

Mexico: - Feliz Navidad
Monaco: - Joyeux Noel
Montserrat: - Merry Christmas
Morocco: - Mboni Chrismen
Mozambique: - Boas Festas

Netherlands: - Prettige Kerstdagen
Norway: - Gledelig Jul

Oman: - Mboni Chrismen

Pakistan: - Bara Din Mubarrak Ho
Palau: - Merry Christmas
Panama: - Feliz Navidad
Polish WESOŁYCH ŚWIĄT

Tunisia: - Mboni Chrismen
Turkey: - Mutlu Noeller
Turks and Caicos Islands: - Happy Christmas

Tamil(Indian) Christmas vazhthukkal

Zambia: - Happy Christmas
Zimbabwe: - Happy Christmas

This are a list of HAPPY CHRISTMAS in different languages, on this eve of christmas, i write this as a resort to bless all my family and friends. May god bless them all. Wishing you all a merry christmas !!!
May the stars watch upon you all, AMEN !!!

PENDOWN, a new form of Satyagraha or mockery?

DISCLAIMER: Every thought and words penned down here are a result of our observations and the words have been contemplated, well framed not to break decency, and keeping the truth in consideration. So any wounded egos is not our fault, it is their own!

STATUARY DEFINITIONS:
PENDOWN (student’s version)-A great and cool act done by ‘We the Students’ as a sign of unity, in which the students universally refuse to budge their pen in the examination hall.

Reasons:-a thousand, yet the most prominent are, seniors did it, other batch mates did it, we shouldn’t lag behind.

PENDOWN (teacher’s version) - A disgusting act of unity shown by students to undermine my authority in class by the unanimous boycotting of examination.

PENDOWN (true version) - We bloody shitpots, the students, don’t study and when we see the snow avalanching on us we try to run hither and thither.

We had our internal exams from the follow up day of the gorgeous Valentine day up to the 16th of February. As the joke runs, “in how many days can you complete a 500 pages book? Doctor, an year, Accountant replies a month, lawyer a week and an engineer asks- when are the papers?” we proved to the joke, and played fine. However a new plan surfaced, designed to face these internals this time. Plan codenamed: PENDOWN.

The history of PENDOWN, I don’t know but can surely guess, runs long. Our seniors in this internals did this so called great act in three of their five papers. Our juniors did it on 16th of February, and this hurt our ego. Our seniors did it, our juniors did it and we losers come out of a barrel of nipples sucking our thumbs! This was unbearable to us, so plan PENDOWN was executed today!

ORIGIN OF PENDOWN IN A CLASS: Usually the vortex of a pen-down in class originates from a single individual’s brain. The single individual boasts in front of his/her friends about a paper boycott put of sheer fun and the friends think the idea is cool and rather achievable.

PROCESS: Phone calls to the revelers are made. Revelers of the class (generally who on account of their screwed up habit of reveling in vodka and porn turn out to be bottom liners) get joy-ed at the mere mention of a new type of revelry, and start convincing the whole class about a PENDOWN.

RESULT: Goal is achieved. PENDOWN is successful! Cheers….

CRITICAL APPRECIATION: An old adage in Hindi goes as, “whether the knife falls on the melon or the melon on the knife, it is always the melon that bears the onslaught.”
So whether it is the mistake of the teacher or the student, it is the students who are at losing and receiving ends.

PENDOWN a modern form of Satyagraha followed by students has lost its true meaning under the utter corruption of mankind. Students have made it a status symbol. Others did it, we must also do it.

Ultimately who is at loss? Who suffers?

WE. The teacher has not lost anything. He won’t mind putting a zero to 60 odd bastards. No one can remove him from his job, no one can stop his promotion scheduled for once every five years. Ultimately, a request to every reader, before taking any step, think about the consequences(negative ones first) and the aftermath. Always remember the story of the shepherd who used to shout “wolf, wolf” whenever he used to get bored and the day when the real wolf turned up and he called up for help no one turned up, thinking him to be a prankster.

The underground constipation versus the overhead overflow

One of the pluses of growing up in a city is that you become adept at English. In most cases, kids in school and through college end up picking on at least one other language besides English and their own mother tongue. The educated section of the western world usually holds the Asian population in regard since most Asians can speak at least 2 languages fluently. Many Asians might speak up to 4 languages. As you know, we don’t think it’s a big deal to bump into someone who can handle four languages in India. But to the rest of the world it’s a colossal mark of mass intelligence of a certain geographical pocket; almost like Russians are good at physics, or Koreans are good at math or any of that. It was out of such a train of thought that several jokes emerged, the least of which being: “What do you call a person who speaks many languages? Answer: Multi-linguist. What do you call a person who speaks two languages? Answer: Bi-linguist. And what do you call a person who speaks one language? Answer: American.(well, British and Australian too!)”

Besides the blip-on-the-radar jokes about the English language, there’s no getting away from the fact that English is really what makes life, business, politics, restaurant menus and everything else in between easier to fathom. Yet, in some strange way, there is a big portion of the Indian population that seems to think that it can somehow remain divorced from the Victorian Language. Now we both understand that trying to change someone who isn’t willing to change is like dancing with someone who isn’t willing to dance. It’s called wrestling.

I haven’t tried the English lessons on Tata Sky, but I can say from here that probably the easiest way to get good at English is to first start by being bad at it. That is, I’m assuming, you haven’t been used to speaking it from the days of your kindergarten. Common self-help techniques to learn English that people resort to can be put in two boxes:

THE UNDERGROUND CONSTIPATION: Don’t let the word constipation mislead you into thinking that somehow this one method is bad. This technique usually encompasses reading lots of books and working away at Wrens, Martins and Norman Lewis. It is very important, but this method entails learning the language in isolation. While this might help you say words like ‘incorrigible’ and ‘preposterous’, there is no way you’ll be able to marry the knowledge with the comprehension and its use in day-to-day speech. English really isn’t about saying big words. Another way that makes into the list is the art of writing, to jot down every single thing that comes into your mind. Writing does'nt always necessarily means to write perfectly , but to write in an imperfect way leading to the perfect expression.

THE OVERHEAD OVERFLOW: This is the playground where the real learning happens, and yet most English speaking aspirants never step into it. It is that space where you communicate and talk and exchange information with people who speak better English than we do. The law of physics never falters and a certain degree of osmosis happens between the people exchanging ideas. Over a period of time, hanging around with the eagles actually helps us soar higher than we could have if we continued pecking with the hens.

I write this not as a master of the language, but certainly as a long term student. The words lucid and pragmatic have been giving me a tough time off late. So, if we can somehow find that balance between the underground constipation and the overhead overflow, our ability to communicate in English would be up several notches.

Super Kapoor !!!

“The world is safe once again! Thanks to ......” Sounds familiar? The world we live in has been saved innumerable times by a wide variety of superheroes such as Batman, Superman, Spiderman and other interesting characters. These heroes have been successful in protecting us from villains whose sole motive is to either take over the earth or destroy it (only god knows why!). These heroes have however managed to entertain millions of kids in India and billions abroad!

To cater to the needs of 40 something year old ladies, Ekta Kapoor popped right out from nowhere. With her stereotype daughter- mother-in-law quarrels, one actually wonders how people still keep watching her soaps. History repeats itself, more and more soaps are screened and loyal viewers can be seen sitting glued on to their TV sets.

To the oblivious, let me fill you up, people who does'nt watch soaps, please stay the hell out of this blog. This piece of writing has been advertently presented for those group of people, who are psyched about daily soaps. The esteemed group of people that so gratifiedly makes into the list includes, my dad ans ma off course, and to support them my entire family for that matter joins in too. Congrats Bui, Nini and i have no idea if Rani is a soap freak, but nontheless i take the liberty to join her too, anyways congrats to have been given the respect and honour you so dearly deserved !!
Let us imagine that by some bizarre twist of fate (god forbid!) that Ekta Kapoor decides to make use of these superheroes in her soaps so that it appeals to a larger majority of people !!!


Main Characters:

Batman: The Head of the family

Batgirl: Mother (looks 20ish in spite of the fact that her son is 40yrs old)

Superman: Son

Wonderwoman: Daughter-in-law and Superman's wife



The episodes would proceed as follows:


Episode 1:

(Title song for 3 mins!)

(Commercial break for 2 mins).

The stage is set. The episode begins and a humongous house (fit for a king) is shown. The rooms are so lavishly and expensively furnished that even the owners of the five star hotels would turn green with envy. A joint family is shown with Batman and Batgirl getting up from their bed dressed as if they have been to a party (Batgirl is still wearing expensive clothes and jewellery!). In another room far far away, Superman gets up, looks around, is not able to find Wonderwoman, and gets angry for some reason. Meanwhile Wonderwoman can be seen cooking in the kitchen.

A telepathic conversation takes place:

Superman: Wonderwoman.....Are you there?

Wonderwoman: Yes dear....Go on.

Superman: Where is my electric red underwear? I have to save the world from vile villains. (In a thunderous voice)


(A commercial break for 2 mins)

(A recap of the conversation that took place before the interval)

Wonderwoman: I am sorry dear. I have given it for dry washing.

Superman: What?


End of episode 1.

Title song for 2 mins!


Episode 2:

(Recap of episode 1)

Superman flies into the kitchen with god like speed, looks at Wonderwoman and zaps her using his laser vision. A harassed Wonderwoman takes out her lasso and starts whipping it at Superman. Hearing all the commotion, Batgirl rushes into the room, sizes up the situation and blames her daughter-in-law for everything that happened. Wonderwoman bursts out sobbing.


Episodes 3, 4, 5, 6: Wonderwoman still sobbing! New characters such as Green Goblin, Flash Gordan etc are introduced who try to console her, but all in vain!


Episode 7: The red underwear has been brought back from the dry wash. Seeing the underwear, an argument again surfaces. Batgirl gets angry again and a fight breaks out between Batgirl and Wonderwoman. The fight aggravates to such an extent that Batgirl slaps Wonderwoman. Wonderwoman storms out of the house and swears that she will never set a foot in the house ever again! She decides to go to her mother’s home.


Episodes 8, 9, 10, 11: Superman is angry with Batgirl for sending Wonderwoman home. Batgirl and Batman both try to justify why the course of action adopted by them is best for the entire family.


Episode 12: Family hears that en route to her mother’s home, Wonderwoman’s invisible jet has crashed and she is in fact dead!


Episodes 13, 14, 15, 16, 17.. this goes on till episode 100: Mourning begins for Wonderwoman’s death. A picture of Wonderwoman is kept in the pooja place and the family can be seen crying out loudly. Everyone is regretting that she had to leave this world so early. She had to leave without saying goodbye. Characters like Spiderman, Flash can be seen consoling the family members.


Episode 101: Wonderwoman is alive but unconscious. It took some time for the rescue team to find her jet as it was invisible! She is admitted to a nearby hospital.


Episodes 102, 103, 104, 105... till 110: Hospital scenes! People visit wonderwoman give her flowers etc.


Episodes 111, 112, 113: Wonderwoman returns home. Superman hugs her and they hold a grand party on her return in the same grand house.


Episodes 114, 115: Life proceeds normally in the Superman home. The normalcy and day to day instances are illustrated in these episodes.



I just demonstrated how easy it is to come with episodes of soaps by Ms Ekta Kapoor which have an uncanny habit of beginning with the letter “K”. My advice to the ladies who watch such soaps is to stop watching them. Watch something meaningful rather than wasting your time with mundane and awful soaps. For the kids who love superheroes, I urge them to keep on watching as long as it doesn’t turn out to be an addiction.

I request Mrs. Ekta Kapoor to come up with better plots (which can at the least entertain the entire family!) and get rid of mother-in-law and daughter trifles. I beg her to be more innovative when it comes to naming her serials and never ever get the bright idea of using superheroes in her soaps!

Lastly but not the least, I would also recommend Mrs. Ekta Kapoor, " Go get a life Bitch" !!!

Fixing An Unwanted Outcome- The Awesomeness Glitch In The Flaw !!

Tagore said that human beings clasp to false hopes in times of despair (and they really do) ,and when they come face to face with reality these hopes rip the very nerves in which they flow and crack the subject up to doom. We human beings are the foolest creature God happened to chance. He gave us brain, senses, made us mortal to fear him however he made the gravest mistake of his immortal life when he endowed them with emotions. He did right by creating whatever he wished BUT he shouldn't have endowed us with emotions. What does that power know what we have been through, what does he realize what we have suffered.

Liking is the first step towards loving someone. Sometimes some people take decisions that are irrational, and as a consequence shed more tears than joy enjoyed. I am rational enough to smile more than tears shed, radical enough to laugh when my heart cries out loud, just to make sure you all don't cry with me, "YOU" refers to a special few group of people, and i expect you to be rationaler than me and pay heed to everything listened, but filter them using your own wisdom. After all, we are as Nature made us, and nature never does anything for the hack of doing it. It is ultimate reason and rationality. The best teacher to learn anything from!

Many desire to be God however I ask him to be in our place and love, and know what it feels when you love and are not responded, and I would be more than happy if he sees the loop hole in his own matrix. At the end of the day he would say ,"Ah! I wish I had been mortal not to endure this." The religious books preaches - at last every soul will be united to the Almighty/ do deeds that take you closer to Him; and what I say is - useless is the aforesaid thing. What a mortal like me want is the union with the soul about which I care, which I love, whose closeness I desire, I wish, I hope, I dream. What shall I do with a religious union when I can't care about that soul, when I can't love it.

I have loved you more than the sun has loved light; I have loved you more than the eyes have loved sight; I have loved you deeper than the depths of the Pacific, mightier than the mightiest Himalayas; I have loved you every moment of the damn day that I have to endure and it's your memories that keep me young; your presence is my courage, my wisdom, my breath, my life.

Until now i had been anonymously addressing you all, now its just you baby, its just you and me now, and the million things you said last night, without saying a word. "You mean the world to me", the whole wide world. Don't let my world come crashing down on me, am not that masculine enough, nor am i ATLAS to hold it upon my puny shoulders.

"I call the creator the wisest fool. He made a mathematical equation "man" and associated a variable "love" which when approaches a constant value makes the equation called "life" unsolvable."

vicissitude to pulchritudinous !!!

English language is not yet so developed so as to express emotions explicitly. As a matter of fact, no language is. The language of truth is flat and insipid; it fails to express fine touches of sensuality and delicate fibres of likings and caring which wake you up at midnights. I speak to you the same truth, but also want you to know that those delicate fibres matrix my thoughts and deeds.

But this blog is not indeed for blabbering about what english language can do, nor about my deeds, this is about my emotions, in a sort so as to say. the theory of a caterpillar and butterfly is often taken for the paradigm of beauty. it takes a metamorphism of a caterpillar which in a way seems hideous, to a ravishing butterfly, which forms the epitome of beauty.

Without much udo and fussing around, i get to the point. I never generally put up my personal writings up for public, but the oppurtunity to introduce the new diva in town was overwhelmingly hard to ignore. Its ironic though, calling her a diva, knowing for the fact that she sucks at singing, and not to mention she never leaves an oppurtunity of entirely obliterating the song she hums, and in turn giving a chance to the singer to go hang himself/herself of the fan to have shown the audacity of ever sing that song.

Anyways a family member of mine, and i intend to let her be anonymous for that matter. So let just call her lady X, now before i get into the details of how things turned out that it made it to my blog, let me tell you something basic about this lady, first is she went to a beauty parlour today, ( i have no idea why people go to the god forsaken place to throw away their money), secondly she had a hair cut, and ther is a third piece of information too, but we can skip that for now. So here goes the epic !!!

It had been three long days i had not even had a glimpse of her, so ignorantly as always i call her up in the morning to tell her i would be taking her out in the evening, totally unknown to the fact that i was in for a tremendous surprise. All was set, everything was done, with me sarcastically taunting her about her little trip to the "temple of damsel". It was not until 7:30 pm did i see her, and trust me did i see. I did'nt notice the change that clearly from a distance, but then total black out. Oh god !! am riding a god damn bike, this has to happen now. I praised her, appreciated her, but as usual, as her so predictable Xly nature, she felt shy, ( " Oh come on lady, am praising you here, you are suppose to be happy for that"), but anyways i dealt with it. Through out our glorious and exhilarating journey towards the fast food center,( which i had not planned to go ), the only thing that poped up in my mind was, "Oh my god, this really is X rite". But then even god has a very bad habit of joking with his subject na, we had our food, had some pretty amusing talk too, worth mentioning.

The most exciting part of the evening that so crudely untill now was hiding, "you coward" !! unveiled itself at Andhra Bank ATM. After having withdrawed the money, she so excitedly and timindly revealed that she had been dieing to show me her curls that she had done, now this is the third thing that i skipped in the beginning. It would have been harsh on my feeling's part to have disclosed it then by not respecting the situation at hand. Anyways she looked absolutely stunning, not until that point had i been so serious of blogging all this. This definitely is going into my blog, i said to myself.

To sum up all this ramayan, the only thing that comes into my mind is that, "Baby you looked gorgeous". Its true i had mentioned this lines to her a number of times in the past, but never before have i been so stunned to this level. And off course never before had i considered it so unusually out of the ordinary to have pen all of it down !!! Thus unfolds the transformation from a wonk to the damsel !!!

The 44 rupees look !!!

I don't remember the precise date, but since when have been boys good at recalling dates, I hope I can be forgiven under that pretense. Who knew, that day would have culminated into today -- today, when I'm not myself; today I look into the mirror and find myself missing; today I see my own eyes and feel them lost somewhere in the depths of two black eyes which I looked into on that particular day.

Now read on and please don't hold me in the wrong light stating I was a scoundrel and a git. Please judge me with sympathy in your hearts, that's the most I beg of the readers. I was in sixth standard and she was a new comer to the school. She had not been able to get her hands on a geography text book and I had an extra one, by some glitch of mine I had bought two books today I thank to that fault of mine. She offered me the price of that book and woe my tongue I accepted it. Unknown to her I gave her my heart, unknown to her I made her a part of my emotions, my sorrows, my happiness, my dreams and finally my life.Worldly possessions seem too cheap in comparison to things I have given her.

So on that day it wasn't only the geography book that she bought from me; I along with the geography book gave her a lot of things which a true human gives only once. I gave her the things that she never asked for; I gave her the things, maybe, she doesn't even value; I gave her the things that she might crush at her slightest whim; I gave her the powers to create me, to destroy me, to build me or to ruin me. Maybe today she doesn't even wish to look at me, or maybe she thinks of me as nothing more than a straw on a stormy night, I don't know. I always thought of her as the air I breathe, as the water I drink, as the light I see and the presence I feel, and whenever I think of the geography book I remember the bargain she made.

And now after precisely or approximately to be more precise, after 5 years of bygone infactuation, i stood there and with the self satisfying pretense that it was all a mistake and that is suppose to happen, if you are to be called a normal guy. I took back all the above crap i just said, washed it, even dry washed it, pressed it even. And then in a feat to reconcile with my own inner being, (not to mention i have one though) i went to the furthest of reaches and to the tallest of mountain and threw it away......

Oh, just kidding !!! i din travel that far, i did the exact above said things in the drain that runs so vehemently down the lane. Thats all crap you know !!!

But nontheless, the bargain she made with that 44 bucks look !!!

I Have An Explaination !!!

Enough of emotional crap, yesterday i decided to try my hand on some comic writings, Priyadarshan made his transistion from comedy to serious with Aakrosh, and here the legend is back with some exciting never before seen comedy. FYI, this are'nt PJs ok, ignore common layman, this "FYI" was for 2 to 3 diabolical fools, he he he !!!
So here it goes, recently i made some surveys, to some controversial unanswered question. Not to mention that survey included just one people....

"ME" !!!


#What if Rahul Gandhi becomes India's prime Minister?

Firstly, he will dissolve the passing systems of exams and make sure politicians children are given a lower pass percentage, and Gandhi's(not the real ones, the reel ones) don't need to appear in papers.Secondly, he wants to sue the examiners who corrected his higher secondary papers and failed him.



#Why Mayawati wants to become India's prime minister?

Firstly, it has been a long time since she did some scam; secondly, her locker is already filled with Gujrati diamonds, she wants to try a hand at South African ones.



#Why Mulayam Singh doesn't want to become India's Prime Minister?

He has been very well taught by his holiness Amar Singh, not to keep false hopes as they tend to cause heart attacks in case of failures.



#What if Mamta Banerjee becomes India's Prime minister?

A ban for Tata, in complete India.(You fu**ed my case in Singur, i will f**k ur case in India!)

# Why is Dr. kalam still optimistic about 2020 vision?

Well, he is India's missile man and whatever he speaks are at a height of 20,000 feet. Naturally, it takes time for truth to travel against gravity. It will surely reach him one day, i am still optimistic...


#when is India going to win a football major tournament?

Only when a south-asian quota comes into existence, and lesser chance when the referee is bought.(Lesser chance with the second choice since football referee's are never Indian.)


#Why did Prathibha Patil become India's president?

(please send me a reply..I seriously need one!!!)

Conversation With God !!!

"Man proposes God disposes." For a supreme soul like me dedicated solely to the uplift-ment of mankind, a few things don't come easy! I belong to the breed of engineers infesting this planet who consider few acts as a lethal sin. Today on this propitious day, in front of Lord Shiva, I am going to make the confession of the sin I did today.

Me: "O' mighty and the most puissant Lord Shiva. I come to thy gracious abode to seek forgiveness!"

God:"yes, my son first tell me who are you and what is your model number? then tell me what have you done?"

Me:"O omniscient, I am Siddharth Panigrahi, model number 4:05 am,i6th april 1990, House number 420 Sambalpur, Orissa, India."

God:"My register shows no registered any Siddharth Panigrahi in it. Were you illllllll???"

Me:"No my lord. I am a perfectly legal born son. Sorry it is 1989, the habit of bluffing people on this earth made me think i could even bluff you and postpone my death... "

God:"I am omnipresent, omnipotent and the maruti omni. Yes my register has the following entry---
Name: Siddharth Panigrahi.
Born: 16 april, 1989
Time of birth: Delivery order signed at 5:18am, earth timings may vary as per urgency
Death: One year after he loses his virginity.
Unique Qualities: Flirty, falls in love with every second girl, proposes to every third girl, gets ditched by every girl(and a die hard fan of Salma Hayek) "

(sSuddenly God shouts in havoc reckoning voice,"Parvati don't come outside. We have a very bad human here.")

God:(husked voice, with a wicked smile) "How is Salma these days?, my sources say she married a clown, and is now called Salma Pinault?' The Wi-Fi connectivity is weak here up in these Himalayas; these politicians need to be taken to task."

Me: "Lets discuss it some other day. When we have vodka and rum with us. Girls sound bad unless you are drunk".

God: "True..true...come to your confession part, you are wasting my time. Katrina has some problems with Salman going on. I have been called in the form of Allah to help.

Me: "Today, I put a disgrace to engineering breed. I took bath twice a week.(both time alone)"

God: "YOU SCOUNDREL, A**E HOLE; I send you to this earth for upliftment of mankind. Save water and teach the world the importance of water, and what have you done today you took a bath. You scum bag, you don't deserve to be here. I am going to make sure you don't live another second. I am going to open my third eye now!!!"

Me: Forgive me my lord, my saviour, forgive me. Nini and Bui keep taunting me everyday, so in a hesitant offer to make things rite, i commited this hideous crime my lord. I come in front of you to beg for mercy, my almighty. Forgive me, i will never commit such crimes ever !!!

God: " Ja Vats, i forgive you, if they where the ones who inspired you to do it. I permit you to bathe daily. Use a soap if you can child, will you. You stink !!"
"Oh my sweet lord, since how many days its been you havnt had a bath, you insolent rat ?"

Me: " its been a year my lord".

God:" Oh god get the hell out of my site, and do obey to what ever they say, they are god kids, i took my time my made them with much thought and feelings".

Me:" As you say my lord".

HAPPY BATHING !!!

Stuck Somewhere

Well, I guess my blog should begin first with an explanation of the title. There's this friend of mine with whom I go on long evening walks occasionally... nothing to it, just getting away from the crap of everyday life. She isn't a great talker, but when she gets talking, there's an underlying sensibility to what she says...and once she was trying to explain to me why she was frustrated with the way most of her friends were living their lives, and she was struggling to come up with a relevant phrase, and all she could manage was "They're all just....just...stuck somewhere I guess". I don't really know why, but that phrase lodged itself in my brain, and I saw this as a perfect opportunity to use it, since that's what most of us still are today...'stuck somewhere' , in some corner of our own minds, in the swamps of our own pasts, and in the confines of our own limits. And for you all to know, that friend of mine is my conscience, my inner self. I call it her, coz a feminine touch is more sensible then a masculine one. And moreover 3 of my friends consider me more of a girl then a boy, LOL !!!

This blog is dedicated to all those who silently pray at night for freedom in their lives, and for those who have the courage to make a difference in the lives of those around them.

The Last Supper- A Little Known Tale

I’m a self confessed Dan Brown fan. I’ve read all of his books, and I wince at the criticism that most cynical readers throw at him. I think they make sense, because he does a fantastic job at blending the spiritual and higher aspects of life with the everyday stuff. And, master of words that he is, he does it with a bit of magic.

For all those uninitiated into the world of books, Dan Brown is the author of the most controvesial book "The Da Vinci Code", the book that holds a very dark secret about jesus christ, a secret that if revealed could shake the very foundation of christanity, a secret that says, Jesus Christ was married and that he fathered a child", and though his other books have never come close to that sort of popularity well off course apart from Angels And Demons, they’re intriguing to say the least. Those who haven’t read them, go do it now.

Anyway, there’s this painting in " The Da Vinci Code", " The Last Supper". A painting around which the entire story of this novel revolves, and which guards this secret. Well again those of you who does'nt know, Leonardo Da Vinci is the same old divine man, who painted " The Monalisa". The most controversial painting of our age. The Painting that defied all rules of science. And so as to say my idol. But thats not the point. This blos is neither about Jesus, Nor Da Vinci, and definitely not about whom i idolise. This is about " The Last Supper", its intiation process, and a very very quintessential meaning of what God intended our life to be !! Of what he thinks of his children. How he intended us to live, and how we as for the matter lead our life, So here it goes...

Centuries ago, in the age of the renaissance, Leonardo Da Vinci had just conceived the idea of painting the Last Supper, a painting which shows Jesus Christ having supper with his apostles, and the painting is special because it shows Jesus, the embodiment of good, and Judas, the doer of evil (because he was the one who betrayed Jesus) in the same painting, along with the other devotees. Da Vinci had his own style of going about his paintings, and it was to seat a live subject in front of him and paint. But this style of painting often required him to go on long ‘subject hunts’. It was on one such long and arduous subject hunt that he discovered a cherubic looking church choir youth, whose face had an angelic look to it. “You’re the man for my painting” said Da Vinci. He invited the youth to his studio, and the face of that youth became the face of Jesus in that immortal painting. So the painting was half done, and Da vinci now wanted someone to paint with as Judas. He searched far and wide, but he could never see evil and avarice manifest themselves so clearly on one face, and he had all but given up hope.

He had almost given up, when he discovered by the roadside one day, a drunk drug addict lying unconscious. His face had all the world’s sinister darkness on it, and he was the quintessential dissipated evil man. He dragged him into his studio, and immortalized the features of that wasted man as the face of Judas in the painting. A few hours later, the man came to his senses, and when he saw what Da Vinci was painting, he said “Hey I’ve seen that painting before!” Da Vinci was perplexed…had some painter stolen his ideas? “Where, Where?” he shook him by the shoulders.

“A few years ago, before I lost the singing job at the church choir, a painter…was it you? Called me as a model for Jesus Christ in this painting. My memory is lulled by my intoxications now, but I believed the painter was you, and this was the very same painting.”


Moral of the story: There’s no good, there’s no bad. You’re both, and both are in you.

Now this is a weird ending don't you agree. But the weirdness just gets better, Leonardo Da Vinci was infact the most genius mind of our age, Its neither Einstein, nor Newton. Google who the hell was Leonardo Da Vinci, and when you are obsessed about something and is determined to know everything about that, you tend to figure out everything about that. Now the genius that Leonardo was, he completely forgot about it, that he had already painted the canvas, that was going to be the most godly painting of all time. This last para was just a piece of info. The blog offically terminates at the Moral !!!

MAKTUB

This is for all the philosophy lovers. Philosophy as in, the real thing. If your definition of philosophy starts and ends with 'life is like an icecream so enjoy it before it melts', probably you're not the right audience for this.

There are certain words that have a ring of magic to them. To me, Maktub is one such word. It obviously means nothing to the uninitated, but once you knwo the meaning, I'm sure you'll be a bit enchanted too.

The Arab culture has an ancient belief, or rather, an archaic saying. It simply says "It is written". Three simple words that convey the most amazing meaning. You could read a million books on self improvement, or about how to deal with it when bad things happen to good people, and all that, but believing in Maktub is much easier.

"It is written". Meaning no matter how horribly things go wrong, or how badly life deviates from the script you had planned, believe that if you want something with all your heart and you believe it is your destiny, then the whole universe conspires in helping you achieve it, because it is written. And if it is written, it happens. And FYI for all the bollywood and sharukh khan's fans, Maktub is the inspiration behind that exemplary dialouge in OM SHANTI OM !!

Maybe you wouldn't be too sure about it now, but you'll see. Believe in yourself, and no matter how messed up things may seem at that moment, things will fall into place, because you believed in yourself and your destiny. And when the pieces of your life fall into place, you'll find yourself muttering 'Maktub', because you will realize that miracles do happen, but not to those who call themselves 'lucky', but to those who believe in them. At the end of the day all that matters is faith, even Sai Baba during his teachings always said 2 words, "SHRADHA" and "SABURI". Have faith and have patience, coz in the end you will end up with stuffs you always deserved. And you would be amazed to realise, sometimes we deserve much much more then we actually get. What ever happens, happens for a reason. Nothing in this world happens with out any reason, there is always a spiritual and a more divine reason behind every single thing.

So, if you are reading this right now, and if you have a dream, go for it. Make it your destiny. Failures along the way are immaterial, because your destiny never changes. And one day when you achieve it, you will have made your peace with the universe and all its mysterious ways, for it has worked for you and your dream.

The Inglorious ME

Some people ,who love me so much they can't seem to get me out of their heads, call me
'The Dominator'.
My reticence is my biggest identity..
My obstinance is my camouflage..
A butterfly that takes it flight only when the sun is hidden and the flowers withered..
Darkness intrigues me but it says I intrigue it more..
The day hates me ,for it says I outshine it..
Twilight is my time..when I get my place both in the sun and the stars..
Malicious and meticulous..a mirage beyond the meddling..
The say the chaos makes it difficult , I say it makes it simpler..
My strength is my weakness , for it nurtures my fear...the fear of failure..

Nobility is for sissies..you need courage to be a tyrant..
I hate nothing ,because that gives me something to run away from.
My patience is dead, the rush is what that gives me pleasure..
I don't love pain , it loves me..
Misery to some, miserable to others and yet a messiah to the rest.
Nefarious,notorious,numb,narcissist.
A pain..dull and blunt..can't be too obsessed by it but can't ignore it either.
Someone who knows he's good and that makes him frozen to world around him..
The archetypal 'Winter king' who has lost his Kingdom of Cold..
The Minstrel who mourns his agony to the world ,making it turn sombre..
But you always feel ..me around you..always...whether you like it or not.

Today's Woe

After much ado and fussing, finally after a month of fooling around, BPUT did conduct our 7th sem exam from today. Not to mention the exam being stretch over a month long of agonising period. For the start, taking into consideration the huge and gynormous gaps in between each subject, has lead to the degradation of concentration, not that i had any, anyways. But nontheless, lazily studying around the boring subjects that we have been so kindly bestowed upon with, soft computing, a branch of future computing that utilises human's random yet precise thinking ability to solve advance problem in a much flexible way. Can you imagine a day when androids, walking among us, much like in I'Robots can dream and feel like we do. Nevermind the amazement, getting back to the topic, SC has been by far the best and the most interesting subject BPUT can ever think of including in the syllabus and not to mention even the best subject i have came across, well off course the likes of Microprocessor and Microcontroller is legendary in its own way. Forget about others, me, myself and i was impossibly amazed at how i could like a subjecct related to studies so much, LOL !!!


The 1st exam we had today was this godly subject. Had a jolly good time preparing for the subject. Even for a change BPUT had obtained a more lenient way of setting a considerable paper though a lengthy one. Now after all this unnecessary boring lecture above, the main motive of pening down this blog was for the shithead of the invigilator we had today. As for the matter, the first thing is he seemed totally gay to me, and second is i could'nt figure out what made him so much to be proud of. Well, taking into consideration he was a junior lecturer in one of the most fucking college. But anyways, he was strict for the students as in, not to mention had a very annoying habit of calling the students by various names. But who cares what he call others. This is about me, the fucking asshole, son of a bitch had the audacity to snatch away my paper during the last minute, when the pressure and tension forms a very strong bond of alliance and sky rocket up so high. I still had a long question to attend to, before he so vehemently took away the paper, MF !!!

With no fault of mine, i was penalised fro something i never did. My back bench student calls me an ask me a question, so shere does the fair part goes off, that even my paper was taken away. I argued with him, repeatedly asking to be informed about my mistake. But would'nt it decrown him for being a pompous four eyed ass that he was. I have no idea how i controlled myself fro running to him, pin him to the ground a beat the shit out of him. Stroming out of the class i made sure that he hear the curse i throw at him.

Evening Solace

The human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed;­
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charms were broken if revealed.
And days may pass in gay confusion,
And nights in rosy riot fly,
While, lost in Fame's or Wealth's illusion,
The memory of the Past may die.

But, there are hours of lonely musing,
Such as in evening silence come,
When, soft as birds their pinions closing,
The heart's best feelings gather home.
Then in our souls there seems to languish
A tender grief that is not woe;
And thoughts that once wrung groans of anguish,
Now cause but some mild tears to flow.

And feelings, once as strong as passions,
Float softly back­a faded dream;
Our own sharp griefs and wild sensations,
The tale of others' sufferings seem.
Oh ! when the heart is freshly bleeding,
How longs it for that time to be,
When, through the mist of years receding,
Its woes but live in reverie !

And it can dwell on moonlight glimmer,
On evening shade and loneliness;
And, while the sky grows dim and dimmer,
Feel no untold and strange distress­
Only a deeper impulse given
By lonely hour and darkened room,
To solemn thoughts that soar to heaven,
Seeking a life and world to come.

Words Of Wisdom

There are some words of wisdom that stick with us long after the actual event that lead to those words being spoken has passed. Such is the case with the best piece of writing advice I ever got.

It happened almost 15 years ago when I was a young and somewhat cocky boy. Ahh, but, let me tell you the story in it’s entirety.

We had english classes every alternate day of our time table. And before our session started, we heard words that our teacher was an easy grader.

For the most part the class was interesting, challenging, and fun. I really did enjoy it and true to the rumors our teacher seemed to be a pretty easy grader.

The only problem was, that every couple of weeks or so he would give this in class writing assignment. The same assignment. He would have us describe this banyan tree outside our classroom window in 25 words or less.

Every time we were given this assignment some little devil inside of me made me rebel. Each time I would carefully write my name on the paper, followed by a one word description of the tree. Usually something like "big", "leafy", etc.

Each time he would hand back all our papers ungraded and have the best description read to the class. I would sit at the back of the room and roll my eyes whenever I would hear about “Little fairies, dancing on the sun dappled leaves.” or “The whispering of the rustling leaves.”

Through out the session other students tried harder and harder to out do one another and the description of that tree got more and more fantasy like. I stayed true to myself however, and continued to write my one word descriptions “Brown” ,“rough” ,“tall.”

At last the class was almost over for the year. All that was left was the final exam. As the class and I gathered in our classroom pens in hand our teacher announced that everyone would be excused from the final except for Me.

I sat in stunned silence while the rest of the class filed out of the room grins on their faces.

After they had left, my teacher turned to me and said quietly. “I want you to write a 500 to 600 word essay describing the tree outside the window.”

“you’ve got to be kidding!” I protested. “It won’t take that many words to describe that stupid tree.”

That is when he utter the words that changed my life. For several minutes he spoke to me about writing and how to describe something. He told me that a really good writer, would describe the tree in such a way that not only could someone picture exactly what the tree looked like, but what kind of day it was, and even how the writer felt being in its presence.

He allowed me three days to work on the assignment.

Over the next couple of days I spent a lot of my spare time outside that English classroom in the presence of that tree.

I walked around it looking at it from all angles. I ran my hands over its bark and looked at each and every scar and knot that tree had on it. I stood well away from it and viewed it from a distance. I even laid under it and stared up at its branches.

A few of the other students and some of the teachers would look at me strangely from time to time and one or two of them asked me what I was doing.

“Studying the tree.” I would answer.

In truth I really was hoping for some inspiration. I was waiting for something to “click” that would make it possible for me to describe the tree in such a manner that my instructor would be duly impressed. No inspiration came.

The night before the paper was due I sat in my room at my desk, crumbled pages scattered all around me like giant snowballs. I must have tried to write that paper 100 times, and could not get passed the first line or two.

Wearily, I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes. What did I see? That darn tree!

I moaned and opened my eyes a moment. Would this assignment haunt me forever? I wondered.

I closed my eyes again. This time when the tree appeared I was determined to keep my eyes shut until the tree disappeared and something more interesting replaced it.

As I sat there with my eyes tightly closed, I saw a tiny black ant making its way up the side of the tree. Wandering from groove to groove in the brownish gray bark. I watched fascinated as it climbed higher and higher, and higher, until it disappeared in a hole just below the branches.

I opened my eyes and smile split my face. Reaching for a clean sheet of paper I began to write.

The next day I turned in the essay and when I got it back just one day later, there was no grade on it. I felt disappointed until I saw the note at the bottom.

“For a brief period of time last night I became a small ant.”

Writing about a banyan tree was the first piece of writing i ever did.

What If

Havent you given it a thought, how life might have been if time didn't go on..
If happy moments didn't pass on..
What if, life had no time..
What if, happiness never ceased..
Many years later, you think of an incident, laugh to yourself, and then a feeling creeps in,
What if, i could have that incident all over again..
You are deep in thoughts, tensed for something,
you think,
What if those rascals who made my life hell and heaven would have been here..
How life would have been a lot easier, if friends for life would have been possible physically and not just mentally..
You are sitting in your class, waiting for the teacher to come,
And out of no where something hit you hard on your face..
You turn with anger to see what it was, only to find one of that rascal smirking evilly..
You forget about it..
Long after everyone is gone, and you are left alone to struggle on with your life alone..
You think of that incident, cry to the heart felt, curse yourself and feel demean that you even got angry for it..
Tackling a situation with a series of emotion now at present, might not feel right in future..
Your heart cries out, you wish, if only i could have those few back..
Belief me, at that particular moment, no treasure, money or great comforts matters..
Deep in tensed thought does you realise, that money and luxury is indeed not everything in life to survive..
Its essential, but nontheless not crucial..
Mental state is what is crucial to live, to be in peace, to be blessed with a happy life..
I jot down this words, words that my heart not my hand speaks,
Going back by train all alone, totally bored, your body pleading to be crushed to be reliefed of the pain it experience, I think,
What if they had been with me, what if i wasn't alone..
How they would have made me feel better,
How their presence might have sufficed for my body to regain all the strength i lost..
With all this troubled and painful thoughts i write down this blog..
With none to share with, i share all this to myself again and again..
Voila, listen to those words i never spoke, listen and understand those feeling i cant speak out, but each and every cell in me cry it our loud..
What if, i could express each and every feeling i go through, each and every feeling i ever wanted to share, but could'nt..
I always try to get consoled for, but with a heavy heart had to drop it..
What if, you could understand everything without me saying it baby..

Where Did They Go

As the sunlight slowly faded away,
The city lights flickered on, one by one,
Illuminating everything on the outside,
And casting a shadow on the inside;

As time slowly ticked past,
The darkness inched closer and closer,
Spreading its shadows across the land,
My inner self comes alive;

As much as i struggle and curl underneath the blanket,
My fears come alive, and slowly engulfs me from the inside,
And tears up the mask that i so successfully put on during the day;

Fears that torment me from the inside during the day,
Comes alive as soon the light fades away and i am back into my den,
With a mind of its own, tormenting me every single night,
Sometimes i wished i was dead;

Surrounded by many,
Yet isolated and alone,
I try to reach out to people,
But succeed in grasping just empty air;

Struggling to keep my sanity,
I plunge myself into darkness,
For its the only place to hide,
To cope with all this,
I give up and cry myself to sleep;

It’s tiresome to want something you don’t have, and each morning,
I wake with loneliness by my side, each day I walk with it’s presence,
In my footsteps, each night it lies hand in hand with my insomnia;

Perhaps i have become invisible ?
Or have i become just an figment of imagination ?
They cried on my shoulders and i soaked up their tears,
Asking for nothing in return, but when i need someone,
Where did they all go ?

When We Are Together

I sit here watching,
The twinkle of the stars,
The full moon in its beauty,
In the cool night breeze;

A feeling so strong, yet said very less,
A emotion that whirls around like a tornado,
But expressed not even a whisper;

As the gentle breeze tried to play a lullaby,
My eyes just refused to pay heed,
Drowned in thoughts of you,
My mind was as fresh as it can be;

All these times, all those moments,
I can’t believe how i let go,
I can’t understand why i didn’t say,
What my heart was crying out loud;

I’m always thinking of you,
Thinking of expressing myself,
But my words,
When I look at you, when i speak with you,
It always ends up to one thing,
I just can’t think of,
The right words to say;

If only the wind could carry,
The unrevealed emotions,
That my heart is crying out every night,
I would send it as my messenger right away !!

Should I tell you,
How awful it feels,
Giving off our time alone,
Don’t you feel the pain,
When your eyes lock with mine?

Sometimes life can be deceiving,
I’ll tell you one thing,
It’s always better when we’re together,
Promises, i dont make,
Of the riches and wealth,
All i have and all that i can,
Give you is my love,
For as long as i am alive,
To cement our future,
To make our dreams come true !!

Tomorrow Will Be Better Then Today

Its midnight and tomorrow is a better day than today,
My eyes just staring at the wall opposite,
No sleep, no dreams,
I sit and watch the drama,
Unfolding before me;

Like an empty canvas,
Waiting for an artist,
I wait in anticipation,
Wondering when and wondering why;

I did all i could,
So i believe so,
What is happening is beyond my grasp,
And i can only watch as a mere spectator;

A mere spectator in my own life,
One moment its all the way up,
The next its hanging in balance,
The tension is nerve wracking;

Patience is all i have,
And patience is all that i need,
As i watch the things unfold,
And let things take shape at its own pace;

I waited a long time for this,
So what difference it is going to make,
To wait a little bit more,
But for how long should i be the villian in my own life;

I wish i could answer all the questions running in my mind,
I wish i could end all the battles being fought inside,
I wish i do not have to wait for long,
I wish, i hope and i believe,
Maybe tomorrow will be better than today !!

Make My Wish Come True

Searching for answers,
That evaded me for so long,
I got lost in a maze of treachery,
Hidden under a mask of innocence;

It’s been so long,
Words kept me awake,
All night long, making,
Me restless and confused;

Drowning in the wishes,
Of a long lost past,
I let my life down,
I let myself down;

In the midst of the night
Under the velvet skies
I surrendered to life
I whisper for forgiveness;

So with a smile on my lips,
And a wish on my heart,
I give faith(hope) one more reason,
I give life another chance,
To make my wish come true !!!

Incomplete

The grey sky looming above,
Rain drops still dripping down,
From the pregnant clouds above,
We set out on our journey once again;

Around and around we go,
In slow circles moving,
To the beat of the thunder,
And rain that surrounds us;

As the droplets hit the ground,
Shattered realizations lay scattered,
Reminding me nothing is same,
As it seems to be;

As another memory turns to dust,
I cut the lifeline that attaches me to the past,
And i shove it back into the depths,
Where nothing will ever bring it back alive;

The rain does nothing to stop our journey,
Never forgetting, who we are,
We walk these streets of madness,
Knowing that,without each other,
We are simply incomplete.

If You Have A Dream

Don’t wait for some distant day to come,
It may be too late before you’ve even begun,
Not everyone will agree with all you decide.

Be true to yourself first and foremost,
The only important thing in life is what you do,
With the time you spend here on earth.

Don’t be afraid to follow your desires,
They are not silly nor selfish,
Take the time and do what makes you feel alive.

Leave your fears and regrets in the past,
For this is where they belong,
Don’t cloud today with things that can’t be undone.

You have no more control over yesterday or tomorrow,
Than you do the raging of your passions,
Do not quiet these dreams nor quench your desires.

For if you do, your journey is ended,
You have only today to begin anew and follow your dreams,
For in the end all we have are our memories.

When the twilight comes to us, let there be,
No excuses, no explanations, no regrets !!!

Change Of Heart

Thoughts flow through my head,
As i wait to find the place where i belong,
Waiting in line for a long time,
My patience slowly ebbing away;

Searching for a way to find that special place for me,
That place where i can fly, the place where i feel free,
That place thats my own, the place where im totally
Free is right by your side, when its just you and me;

Challenges i met along the way,
Embrace my life with trepidation.
But, a changed person, i am today;

Suddenly the world is different,
The world is new,
The world is a place
Perfect for me and you;

And suddenly everything fits,
The world seems like a perfect place,
I’m no longer alone,
And my life doesn’t seem to be such a waste !!!

Before I Am Dead

Waking up drenched in sweat,
Realizing it’s nothing but a nightmare,
I get up to drink a glass of water,
To drown the fear that woke me up !!

Sins I have done plenty,
I do not know if the good I did is enough,
To grant me a passage to heaven,
Or worse, born again as human !!

Never cared for what people thought,
Never worried about those who left,
Never a minute I spent crying over split milk,
What had to happen, had to happen !!

What I was yesterday is what I am today,
Yet people think I have changed, I wonder why !!
I take life as it comes,
No expectations and no demands !!

With the guillotine waiting at every step,
Uncertainty looms large over tomorrow,
I fear I need to live every moment
Of today before I am dead !!

Divine Conscience

"God made man in his image, and in this image man made god" !!!

I was always taught, that service to man was service to god.

That god resides on every human beings.

No one has ever seen god, and that is one of the main reason why religion is seriously and publicly threatend by science.

Science asks for prove for every single thing, but religion is all about having faith on the supreme power that watch over us.

But then its true its a belief that we so blindly put our trust on.

No one has ever, and to my intuition will ever know who god really is.

As we know god is the one who created us, the one who look after us, who cares for our wish and try to fulfill it.

But then doesnt love does that ?

Doesn'nt love makes you feel alive, rejuvenated ?

Does'nt it look after us, the feeling that we are in love makes us to care for ourself, so that we can be alive to experience it.

Does'nt love care for us and fulfill all our wish ?

Those of whom who loves you does'nt care for you ? Does'nt they strive to fulfill all your wishes ?

Does'nt "LOVE" seems like godly ?

Something out of extraordinary, something out of the world.

In this world of chaos and lies, something so pure and sacred still exist, does'nt that seem to be a miracle in itself.

We got a life, everyone loves themself.

Who cares what the fuck happens to others.

As long as we are happy and we live peacefully.

But God is someone who doesn'nt think that way, right ?

He cares for his children, lend his hand when we fall down.

When in love you feel like giving up your life to fulfill all the wishes and dreams of the one you love.

You don't think about yourself ? Strange !!!

You don't care what happens to you as long as your love persist.

Does'nt that sounds something that god might do ?

Human was'nt bestowed with the power to sacrifice, and last time i checked all of us have a single life.

So everyone value their lifes, but then does'nt love defy that unbreakable rule?

The rule to live for yourself, does'nt love lend you the power to sacrifice ?

I read it somewhere only god has the power to lend you the strength.

Thats why we pray to him to give us the strength when we are weak.

How can love lend us a strength so powerful to give up your life ?

Even god does'nt seems that powerful to alter ones mind to do that.

I find myself a bit confused here !!!

Love is more powerful than god ?

Impossible right, god made us, he has the power to destroy us.

So much of confusion right.





Welcome to the reality baby, true identity of god.

And people says they havn'nt seen god, ha ha ha !!!

Funny species humans are.

We love, we die for it, we die to uphold it, we sacrifice the only thing thats our in this world for it, our lifes.

That is godly !!!

In love theres no me, but we.

That is godly !!!

It makes us forget our happiness in a run to fulfill their's.

That is godly !!!

It can make us thinks we were sent in this world for this, when we should be enjoying, we keep on thinking a better way of making them happy.

That is godly !!!

when you make them stand in shade, while you stand under the scroching heat,

That is godly !!!

When you Forget your birthday, which you celebrated so grandly untill now, with a motive to throw them a surprise party on their birthday.

That is godly !!!

Inspite of burning with fever, when you are tensed to the bone, just because they got a bit of cold.

That is godly !!!

You have been dieing to have something, and when you give it up to them, just because they said its good.

That is godly !!!

When you keep smiling when your heart cries out, just not to let them know it and be upset.

That is godly !!!

And when while dieing your last wish is not to let them carry you, because you are heavy and they would get tired.

That is divine !!!

When you prohibit them to come to burn you down, just because you cant see them cry.

That is divine !!!

Where don't you see god, you morons.

Look around you, he is every where.

Feelings always does't need a body.

It is omni present.




NOW TEL ME HAVE YOU SEEN GOD ?

Dillema Deep Inside

Have you ever seen the stars ?
Small sparkling objects, describing who is the best architechture in this universe..
Sleeping under the sky in the roof top all alone, with cool breeze touching your body..
Man it feels good !!!
Being lonely sucks, isnt it ?
Ya it does so much...
The fact you have friends who care about you, but still you are alone,
It really really sucks, totally..
Where are you all ?
I need you, i need you, i need you !!!
Come to me please, am all alone..
We would have a quality time talking, gossiping, sharing things i want to..
Hear me please !!!
Am not insane, am not a bad person either..
I know i do things you all don't like..
Trust me i tried a lot to change it..
I forced every single cell in my body to do it..
I could'nt re, i just failed miserably..
Am selfish i know, am crazy i know that too, i should'nt have some habits, i even know that..
I just can't help it, god damn it i just can't..
Am so sorry for being so selfish..
I say i love you all so much..
But then i impose on you so many things you don't like, so i can be happy..
What about your feelings ?
Are'nt they important ?
What about your happiness and wish ?
Are'nt that those things i die to fulfill ?
Where did i love you all then ?
If i would have loved you, i would respect every wish you have na..
Why can't i let them be happy, why can't i love them the way they are..
Why can't i let them live the way they wanna live..
What the hell am i doing ?
Where am i taking them ?
What the hell am i thinking huh ?
For whom did i change myself so much..
For whose happiness i sacrificed mine ?
I love you !!!
To the level you can't even imagine..
I crossed across all the boundaries and limits..
Just for you all..
I ll make you happy, i ll give you the happiness you deserve..
Yes i ll, yes ill..
I promise you all !!!

A Baby Called Life

How many of people do you think belief in the quote,
That what ever happens with us, no matter how unpredictable our life unfolds itself to us,
Everything is planned, everything that happens to us is for our own good...
I don't think many would, is'nt it ?
Even i din't, till i passed out of school..
But now after being crushed so many times, did i realise its real significance..
True its hard to sink in, but the sooner you grasp it, the better..
He loves all of us, each and everyone of us,
Its just that we think he does'nt..
The flaw is not his, but ours..
We have become selfish enough to blame him for each and every wrong that happens to us..
And when we are pointed out about it, we say thats what makes us humans..
Ha ha !! cool..
Sorry God, my bad..
Many people says a lot about what life is all about..
But hey don't listen to them, thats all bullshit..
No1 can define life..
Life is defined the way we see it to be, what we make out of it..
We meet people, we talk to them..
But not everyone can be our friends..
Let me tell you a story..



"An Indian Brahmin was interested in gaining supernatural powers..
Learning that a monk in Tibet could grant him his wishes, he undertook an arduous journey through the Himalayas to meet him..
The monk told the Brahmin: ‘‘The mantra to gain supernatural powers is simple.
Just say Buddham Sharanam Gachchami, Dhammam Sharanam Gachchami, Sangham Sharanam Gachchami three times, But don’t think of monkeys.’’ Content,
The Brahmin thought: ‘‘I am such a learned man.
Why should I think of monkeys when I chant the mantra?’’
But when he sat down to chant the mantra, the first thought that came to his mind was that of monkeys. Later, all he could think of was monkeys.
The monkeys roamed all over his consciousness until he lost his peace of mind.
Seeing his condition, the monk smiled: ‘‘If you force your mind to travel in a certain direction, it will go the other way.’’



Crazy you all may think, Why the hell am i putting this story where it does'nt fit..
People its not for all of you, the one it is for will understand..
Sometimes its better and healthy to just let go, holding it on sucks..
Its hard to do, but the effort is worth it..
Well while you are busy thinking what i just said,
Let me take this oppurtunity to jot down another story..




"In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway.
Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.
Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.
Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables.
Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road.
After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.
After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.
The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway."



"Every obstacle in life presents an opportunity to improve our condition."
I don't think this saying needs much of an explaination..
My part heres is done then..

See you all in a short while then !!!!!

Cosmic Forum

How do i begin to express what it is i feel on the inside...
I know you are tired of guessing the words i hide...
It hurts me too, to hold my feelings and not to let you in...
But letting this part of me go will take a lifetime to mend...
Please try to understand waht i want you to know...
But it will take too much in me to show...
This feelings are for real and not pretended...
Am very happy you are still there to hold me and show me you will always care...
I know you go through your problem too, but you still take time and listen through...
I wanna give you the same love and care you gave me...
That the special part of me will always be true and although held inside...
I hope u see it too !!!!

Benefit Of Doubt

What is "LOVE" ?
Interesting concept love is...
Asked by many, but answered by none...
The one thing i learned from life is, "The Process Of Refining"...
How to ugrade yourself with time...The way of becoming a better person in life...
Amazing how life reveal itself...How it has a very uncanny habit of unfolding itself in a way completely
different then u imagine it would be...Very sad indeed !!!
But nontheless it must go on...
Anyways coming back to the reality, the definition of love varies with mentality...
Love is something so beautiful and so devastating, entirely an out of the world feeling...
You flourish in it, you are the happiest person in the world...
You fail, you are destroyed...
Pity, young generation really have demean its real meaning...
Love is by far the most sacred creation of god...
The first thought that evoke with the word love is a boy and a girl...
So sad !!!
What is it, when a mother stays up all night just to ensure her son sleeps, when he is afraid...
What is it then, when a father arranges for his daughter marriage...
And what is it then, when a brother sacrifice his entire life just to see that his sister is happy...
Welcome to reality people...
That is what god intended love to be...Unconditional love, the 8th wonder of the world...
No demands, no condition, no expectation...
Just the feeling, yes they are happy...
After all what is more happier then to know, that you were being missed...
Fine, we know what love is, no matter in parts though...But still we have the basic idea...
Then what is it, when a person doesn't care about one's own life, own wish, own happiness...But live for
the one he loves ??
Its love right ?
It really is love...Does dictionary contain any word describing this...
Or its just an extreme case...A psycho, a mad man trying to show off that yes he can love...
But then its sacred, isnt it ?
There is nothing wrong in it, i guess...
Many people does'nt approve it, yes...
But hey who gives a fuck, what other people thinks right...
So its done then !!!!